Family Battles

Family Battles
by Anne E Thompson

I felt your rage today,
Your teenage venom,
As you slammed your fist,
Eyes spitting hatred
Because you had lost a book.
And I could have won,
I could have cried.
And you would back away
In surprised confusion.
But then you would have
No safe haven
In which to dump your anger.

You argued with me today.
With vicious words and
Cruel tongue to justify
A selfish action.
And I could have won,
I could have mocked
And wounded your pride,
Belittled confidence.
But then you would have
No self esteem,
My sneer would damage you.

You slammed a door today
And refused to help
When you broke a vase,
Not caring at all,
Absorbed only in your world.
And I could have won.
I could have sulked,
Withdrawn lifts and treats,
Not listened anymore.
But then you would have
No assurance
That I always forgive.

So I let you win,
And correct softly
When you abuse rights.
For one day you will be grown,
Calm and mature,
Confident, secure
And you will look at life
with love.
And then at last
I will truly
Have won.

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Home Time

Posted by anneethompson

Home Time

by Anne E Thompson

Lurching across the road,
In testosterone fueled bravado,
The tide of newly grown men,
Blustered loudly towards home.

Untucked scrumpled white shirts,
In conformity spurned denial,
With ties asunder,
Blazers flapping loosely.

Untied shoes scuffed of all polish,
Heavy bags slung with ease across shoulders,
Carrying books and study guides,
Pens by the dozen
And yesterday’s forgotten lunch.

Obscenity smattered jokes,
Accompany loose lipped laughter,
While they mock and abuse
In affection filled farewells,
As their paths diverge,
For another day.

Milan, Italy

Posted by anneethompson

Milan, Italy

Family Diary August 2009

Day 1: Train from Verona to Milan, 1½ hours. Rather hot because the air conditioning broke.
Checked in to Hotel De La Ville, booked through Citalia.
Nice hotel with good facilities. Looked at pool (small), bar (pleasant) and fitness room (looked okay.)

Walked around Milan looking for somewhere suitable for a family to eat that did not involve taking out a mortgage. Found a pub, which had a free buffet (which was not especially nice) with drinks plus you could order food. We had lasagna and pizzas.

Wandered around the cathedral, which was very pretty.
There is a nice big square outside where the whole world hangs out.
The outside of the cathedral is covered with some pretty cool gargoyles.
Very gothic.
It took over 600 years to build – which seems excessive until you see it. I expect it caused a few arguments at the time.

Strolled around some posh shops trying on perfumes.

Day 2: Buffet breakfast. We were quite late in eating and it looked like it had been there for a while, though the selection was good. The best bit was a little news sheet that you could pick up as you went in (in various languages.)

Walked around Milan.

Found a ferrari shop.
Bought a ferrari bag.
Also bought a ferrari hat for a friend’s new baby (my family felt he would have sufficient teddy bears and cute clothes.)

Saw a few pretty squares and the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II. Which sounds like another church but is actually a four storey arcade of shops. I am not much interested by shops but the arcade was worth a visit.

I sat in the cathedral square and drank espresso while the family continued shopping. It was the most expensive coffee I have ever sipped, but I told myself I was paying for the atmosphere, not the coffee (or the dirty table.) Watched the world go by.

Bought some Dolce & Gabbana perfume (not sure how my daughter managed to persuade me into that one) and wandered around with the D & G bag pretending to be rich.
Sandwich/burger from a food hall.
Boys swam in pool on hotel roof (were not impressed by how shallow it was.)

We went to an art gallery. Saw some fantastic art (and some really bad art.) We had wanted to see ‘The Last Supper’ at Santa Maria delle Grazie, however tickets need to be prebooked a couple of months in advance, which we hadn’t realised.

Went to hotel gym with boys. They went in the jacuzzi (which was broken). We used a few machines but all the best ones were broken or had pieces missing. Shame.

Ate in McDonalds. By far the poshest McDonalds I have ever been in!

Walked down to Sforza Castle. This is a fifteenth century castle and at night it is floodlit. There is a big fountain in front and it is very pretty. Had ice creams.

David and I had drinks in the hotel bar. Pleasant.

Day 3: I went to Mass in the cathedral (Duomo). People were queuing to go inside but if you are attending Mass you can go straight in. You need to be appropriately dressed (covered shoulders and knees.) I found it hard to follow the Italian, though there were some discernible words. I just liked being there.

Walked back to the castle. It was way too hot and felt a lot further during daytime. Drank lemonade in the gardens.

The kids stood in the fountains (other people were too, so I figured they wouldn’t get shot.) A man approached David with some English passports he had ‘found’. He wanted David to go with him to a phone box to phone the owners. David said he would use his mobile at which point the man became very aggressive and snatched them back. I took photos of him which I later showed some police who were in the cathedral square but they were completely disinterested.

Dinner in a restaurant at the top of La Rinascente which is a shopping mall selling designer stuff (pretty boring unless you like that sort of thing) but has a very interesting food hall at the top and a restaurant on the roof. It was lovely, we sat in the balmy evening air over looking the gargoyles on the Duomo. Very atmospheric.

Had drinks (and hot chocolates) in the hotel bar and played cards.

Day 4: Collected hire car and drove to Lake Como.

Puglia, Italy

Posted by anneethompson

Puglia, Italy

Family Diary 2012

Monday: Drove from Sorrento to Puglia.
Mammoth journey, took forever. Loads of traffic – most of it on the wrong side of the road whilst over taking at least one car and two scooters on a blind bend.
Also had a detour due to a forest fire.
Nice lunch at a service area – freshly cooked burgers and nice sandwiches.
Arrived in Torre Canne about 4:30.
Spent a long time looking for Hotel del Levante. (We booked this holiday through Citalia but I think they no longer use this hotel as it isn’t on their website. I don’t know why – it wasn’t the prettiest hotel we have stayed at but we liked it.)
We unpacked and looked around.
It all felt very foreign after the Sorrento Hotel Bristol and was much less luxurious. However, it was clean and the pool and beach were excellent.
Dinner was okay.
Slept well even though it was quite noisy.
The rest of the family stayed up.
There was a shared computer in the foyer which James had a dispute over with another guest (who felt that he was more important so told James to let him use it. Man was now on Mike and Mark’s hit list.)

Tuesday: Got up and walked along the beach to the lighthouse.
There were lots of men setting up stalls on the beach selling beachwear and toys. Hotels were setting up their chairs on the beach, ready for guests.

Breakfast.
Big discussion about that evening. The hotel was holding a Gala Night which involved paying an extra €15 per person to ‘cover drinks’ (we had already paid for dinner in our ‘half board’ rate). Which was quite a lot for six of us and we had to pay even for those who wouldn’t drink.
Coffee at breakfast was nasty, but the hot chocolate was good.
There was a buffet breakfast with a good range of fruit, cakes, cheese, eggs etc.
Some people took food from breakfast to eat later (which I am not sure was ethical.)

Swam. We were invited to play volleyball. We lost, but not too embarrassingly.
Went in sea until David told me there might be jellyfish. (We did not see any jellyfish the entire holiday, so he may have been lying because he was bored with me swimming.)
Pizza lunch from pizzeria next door.

Went to Gala night.
It was brilliant so I am very pleased that we did!
They had set up a fountain in the pool, there were lights in the trees, ice sculptures, flowers and candles.
All very beautiful.
We sat at tables around the pool, listening to the sea.
There was a huge buffet, which we thought was the main meal but then they served dinner! Lots of food, lots of wine.
There was a band with a singer, then fireworks, then dancing.
They brought out a massive chinese lantern which they lit using a blow torch and set off to float above the sea (we were a little nervous at this point in case it set fire to the guests, but luckily no one got burned – would have rather spoiled event…)
Lots of people came onto the beach to watch the dancing – I am assuming they walked up from the town. Mark did one of his frenetic dances and they all cheered (proud mummy moment.)
Was great fun.

Wednesday: Very sleepy.
Late breakfast at 9.
I went back to bed, family went on beach.

Went into town just as everywhere was shutting. David bought a ball. Mike didn’t buy a tee-shirt. Becky didn’t buy a jumper (yes, a jumper. Why? It’s boiling hot!) Everyone hot and grumpy.

Drove back to hotel. David only went wrong once, family very restrained in their feedback.
Hotel man looked very depressed when we gave him another car to fit into his over crowded car park (maybe he drank too much last night too.)

Spent the afternoon in the sea and pool.
Boys took inflatable boat into sea. Didn’t float to Corsica (lucky, would have been inconvenient.)
Becky was presented with shells – was not especially keen on the crab claws or the bits that were still alive.
I swam with David for a while and did not get stung or eaten.
Read and had an ice cream and an espresso next to the pool. Felt very contented.

Dinner was slightly dysfunctional (the staff must have been tired from the previous night.)
The house next to the hotel had a party. Extremely loud music for much of the night. Not much sleep again.

Thursday: After breakfast went to Alberobello.

Saw lots of trullo.

These are little round white houses.

They were first built in the fourteenth century. The Count, who owned the land, told all his workers to build them because they could be quickly dismantled when the land was inspected and he could avoid paying taxes.

They were pretty, but it was too hot for them to be interesting for long.

I bought a cushion cover for my collection (more expensive than ones bought in Asia or the rest of Europe or US!)

Mike didn’t buy a tee-shirt. Becky didn’t buy a bikkini (but at least she was now looking at weather appropriate clothing.)

Friday: Breakfast at 9.
Every morning, David woke the boys by phoning their room with an annoying poem or song. Every morning James answered and put down the phone. It was a little ritual. Do hope he never phoned the wrong room.

Did nothing. Nice.
Last night, the boys watched a horror film where the main spectre was called Natasha. Today, when they were swimming, a small girl joined them. They asked her name. She said ,“Natasha.” They then both roared, “Na-ta-sha” back at her. Luckily she seemed completely unalarmed by this and continued to play pool volleyball with them. Must have had older brothers.

Saturday: I walked along the beach before breakfast.

I really liked that beach.

It was packed with whole families, mostly Italian, from grannies to babies.

Sellers walked up and down with swimwear and beach toys.

Everyone was relaxed and enjoying themselves.

After breakfast we drove to a zoo but it looked a bit naff and over priced.
Drove on to some caves.
I wandered around gift shops and had a coffee in the shade and read.
The family went into the caves and said they were excellent.
Had lunch there (not overly efficient service.)

Drove back to hotel. Got petrol – always an adventure in small town europe if you don’t speak the language. This time we had to pay in advance. Worked it out eventually.

Sunday: Day by sea and pool.
Boys played volleyball against various teams, including ‘marathon girl’ (who was a very pretty teenager who was also rather good at volleyball!)
The hotel staff wandered around, inviting people to join in various games. It was ideal for a family.

I stopped worrying about people ‘stealing’ from breakfast. Everyone seemed to do it and were very open about it. One old lady even took foil with her to cover her plateful!

Enjoyed the sea. Had big waves.
Nice dinner (they were sometimes a bit random.)

Chatted, then James took his holiday photos. All of them, for the entire holiday. In his room. Not going to be an artist I feel.

Monday: We packed.
We asked to keep one room until we left in the afternoon. Everyone moved their stuff in.
We swam and played on the beach.
Made sand animals on the beach and lots of people stopped to look at them. Clearly the Italian word for “Dragon” is “Crocodee” Showered, pizza, played Catan.
Flew home. Good holiday.

anneethompson.com

Taormina, Sicily

Posted by anneethompson

Taormina, Sicily

Family Diary, August 2007

Saturday: Arrived and picked up hire car at airport.
Drove to Hotel Excelsior Palace, which we booked through Citalia.
It was hard to find the car park, all got a bit stressy. Narrow roads, pedestrian walk ways and lack of sign posts did not help.

Our room had a view of Mount Etna. I wondered how far away it was compared to Pompeii and Mount Vesuvius.

Sunday: Swam, walked in town, swam.

The best bit of the hotel is the pool. It is set in the gardens, so you walk down through orange and almond trees,along flower lined pathways, to the pool area.

The pool overlooks the coast on one side and the cliff continues behind the hotel, so you can look up at the mountain tops on the other. It is beautiful.

Not entirely sure that two young boys and a large inflatable crocodile add very much to the atmosphere.

Monday: Swam Lunch in a pizzeria. Walked through the town with David. If you like very crowded walkways and lots of designer shops, you will love Taormina.

Unfortunately, I hate shopping, especially for clothes, so it was rather wasted on me.

Plus I got blisters from wearing pretty but uncomfortable shoes.

Tuesday: Swam. Bought lunch in a supermarket and ate it in the garden.
Dinner in hotel (nice.)

Jazz concert in a Greek theatre.

This was excellent. We sat on chairs, listening to some really good jazz while watching the sun go down behind the Greek stage.

It was very romantic (well, it would have been had we not had three quite vocal children with us!)

Wednesday: We decided to drive to Mount Etna. I was very excited, having never been close to a volcano before and having rather a passion for bonfires and burning things in general.
However, the hire car gears jammed up on one of the many extremely steep roads.
We waited in a very hot town (which had no public toilets) for a pick up truck and then a taxi to rescue us.
It was hot and boring and uncomfortable.

Swam.
Walked through town with David (it was still just a lot of shops and well designed women trotting around.)
Had coffee in a square, which was nice.

Evening meal was by the pool. The hotel had set up tables with lots of candles and flowers. It was so pretty.

Thursday: We got the hotel mini bus down to the beach.
This was a mistake. The hotel was up a cliff, so we couldn’t walk back. We were deposited at the beach and told the mini bus would return in five hours. The beach was full of beautiful people tanning themselves. The chairs were laid out practically next to each other, each with a small sunshade. Five hours is a long time. Even the sea was crowded!
No way you could go for a run, build a sand castle or even swim properly. You just had to lie there, trying to read and sweating away while beautiful people strolled up and down elegantly between the loungers.

Returned to Taormina and bought ice creams.
The new hire car was delivered.
Walked through the town again.

Friday: The boys slept through breakfast so David smuggled them hot chocolates.
David announced he was going to only eat fruit for the rest of the holiday (probably due to seeing all those beautiful people on the beach!)
Swam. David was seen eating bread rolls.

Drove to Etna. Lunch in a Deli in Gliaglosse. David ate a lot more than just fruit (that did not last very long at all!)

Etna was brilliant. We walked over a recent eruption (that May.) It was like being on the moon. There was total silence, no birds or insects, nothing growing. Brilliant.
Rebecca complained it was just a lot of black rock.
We saw some geologists with all their equipment.

Drove back early so we didn’t miss the car park. Parking was a pain. The hotel used the main car park in Taormina. There was often a queue to get in and it could be hard to find spaces.
I wonder if it is possible to just hire a car for occasional days when actually in Taormina and not to bother actually having one for the whole holiday. It seemed more hassle than it was worth.

Swam.
Drank peach champagne cocktails and played cards in the bar.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday: Days by the pool and strolling around town.

Tuesday: Went on an excursion, booked through the hotel, to Stromboli.
We were picked up and taken to a little port by coach.
We then were taken by boat to a small island. The children swam and we wandered around for a while. Had some lunch.

The boat then took us to Stromboli, which is an active volcano. About every twenty minutes, a plume of smoke could be seen coming from the top and flowing down the side, then steam as it hit the sea. We stopped on the island and could walk around the town.
Had a drink and looked at the church.

Then the boat took us around the island. We were given a simple pasta dinner. As it got dark, you could see sparks and fire in the smoke as the volcano erupted. Excellent!

Wednesday to Friday: More time swimming and relaxing.

David and I did another visit to Etna (Rebacca told us she had seen enough black rocks, but the boys came with us.)
We talked to a photographer who had been there at the last eruption. He said he had been climbing up while everyone else was rushing down! He said you could easily see the lava pathways, so it didn’t feel dangerous and he took some really amazing photographs. I bought a couple (one is included at the end. I cannot read his name – he signed them all- I think it is David Sav.)
We wandered around and found the roof of a building that had been completely engulfed by lava. It was so interesting.
There was a clear line, one side everything was dead and covered in black lava, the other side, all was living vibrant forest. Fascinating.
It must be so exciting to actually be there when it erupts, so much power and energy completely unrestrained. So much bigger than anything people do. I like things that remind me of how small I am.

I would have spent more days at Etna, but even David declared he was at saturation point for black rocks.

A brilliant holiday if you like either expensive shops or volcanoes. I realised I should have been a geologist. Bit late now.

Love

Posted by anneethompson

Love

by Anne E Thompson

No more,
Do I carve big hearts in the sand.
Neither do I scribble our names entwined.
Nor do I keep your photo’ under my pillow.
Nor chant your name like a rhyme in my head.
I do not whisper about you with friends,
Nor blush when I hear your voice.
I do not loiter in the places you may pass,
Nor practice smiles for you before a mirror.

Yet still,
My heart thrills at the sound of your laughter,
And I watch the clock when your arrival is near.
I am content when I manage to please you,
And I watch your face when you drive or read.
I learn every wrinkle that creases your smile,
And I bend to your moods as they change.
For though time may mellow and age us,
My love for you remains
The same.

Verona, Italy

Posted by anneethompson

Verona, Italy

Family Diary, August 2009

Flew Gatwick to Verona. Taxi to Romeo and Guillietta Hotel, booked through Citalia.
Hotel was small, but a great location as it is in an alley right next to the opera arena. Our room was okay but tiny, there was not even room to open the suitcase! However, the air conditioning was good and the shower was excellent. (It should perhaps be noted that in 2014, when we wanted to return to Verona to see an opera, we decided to stay here again. For position and price it is fabulous.)

Lunch in an outside pizza place, Canteena del Arena. Pleasant.
Walked around. Had coffee and ice cream and a spritz (which cost €19 each. Hmm.)
Found a supermarket.

Had dinner in the main square, right next to the Roman amphitheatre (which is where they stage the opera.) It looks better preserved than the one in Rome but is smaller.

Spent the evening walking through pretty squares which the children complained were spooky.

Wednesday: A brilliant day!
I woke 6am and made David get up. The boys joined us and we borrowed bikes from the hotel and cycled round Verona. It was perfect. Lovely cool air, very few people or cars. We saw lots of pretty squares and ancient buildings.

Back to hotel for breakfast.
Walked to Dante’s square and had coffee and ice cream.
Looked around a market. Some nice ‘touristy’ stuff.
Saw the balcony from ‘Romeo and Juliet’.

At 8pm, we went to the opera (we had pre booked our tickets when in England.) We were shown up to the stone steps, where everyone sat (apart from a few people who had paid extra for chairs in the main arena. I think our view was better, though probably not so comfortable. When we returned in 2014, we took garden chair cushions to sit on!)

They herded more and more people in and we kept squashing up until it was completely full. I liked it. It made you realise what it must have been like in Roman times, they sat on the same steps, looking at the same stage.
The two girls next to James (who we didn’t know) had a picnic. Somehow he managed to be invited to share it. He will go far in life.
The opera was brilliant. We had told the children that they had to stay at least until the first Act (it was Aida.) The boys left during the first interval and because the hotel was so near they could safely walk there on their own. A good first introduction to opera for boys.
Rebecca and David both stayed until the end. The Triumphant Entry scene was fantastic – there were 300 people on stage, including four white horses. (After that scene, everyone clapped and cheered and some people thought it was the end and left!)
It was probably not as good musically as The Royal Opera House in London, but without a doubt was the most impressive staging I have ever seen and was a brilliant introduction to opera for anyone who has never seen one. We sat on ancient stone steps and watched the moon rise in the warm sky while listening to the music. It was magical.

It finished about 12:45. We collected the boys and had a pizza and red wine supper. Everywhere was open, it was as busy as daytime. Went to bed 2am. Great day.

Thursday: Got up 8:30.
Breakfast in hotel (it is an okay breakfast, pleasant buffet and good coffee.)

Walked to a Roman theatre next to the river.
Woman giving out guide books at the entrance asked our nationality and David said, “German.” Why? We were then given all the information in German, which none of us can read.

Went back to hotel via market square and had iced drinks.

After dinner had hot chocolate in the square. It was very thick and dark, reminded me of blancmange, which my Mum used to make when I was young.

Went to bed early but had a bad night. Thin walls and the man in the next room had stomach upset. Most unpleasant.

Friday: Walked to cathedral. Rebecca had to wear a ghastly blue hooded cape over her shorts.
Drank lemonade on a terrace next to the river.
Lunch in square. Boys had buckets (literally) of lemonade.

Taxi to station, caught 4:30 to Milan. We discussed how noisy the Verona hotel had been. We all thought the sound proofing was very bad. Except for the boys. They said they had not heard a thing. But the lady next door had been very rude and kept banging on their wall. Oh dear.

How to Train a Dog with Opinions

Posted by anneethompson

How to Train a Dog with Opinions

This article is aimed at people who, like me, prefer life to be easy and who own a dominant, intelligent dog. It is possible to train a dog to complete obedience (I know, I went to the classes and watched other people) but it takes either a lot of time or a degree of cruelty. If you are someone who always revised for exams when you were at school, (and probably weren’t the middle child in a family) then this article is not for you.

My qualification for writing this article is that I grew up with a Border Collie dog and I now own a German Shepherd dog, and sometimes we manage to fool complete strangers into commenting that she is “very obedient”. Both the dog and I know that this is not true, but we work together to give a good impression. I also have raised two boys. Apart from the chewing furniture part, I think most of the advice probably applies to parenting boys too.

My main suggestion is that you let the dog train you. She will try to do this any way, and it’s much easier if you just give in. The trick is to pretend that you are slightly dumb (not difficult in some cases) and only learn the things that you want to learn. Your dog will go to great lengths to teach you. So, when my dog wants to come inside, she barks. I do not want her to bark and therefore I do not respond to this. After a while, the dog will realise that I am too stupid to understand her bark, so will stop. When she is sitting quietly by the door, I open it. She will then train me to repeat this action by sitting next to the door whenever she wants to come in.

The same principle works with sticks. If my dog tries to train me to throw a stick by bringing it near enough for me to reach and then running away with it, I ignore her. After a while, she realises that I am too stupid to play the ‘chase you round the garden trying to get the stick’ game and so she will sit next to it. When she sits next to the stick and waits, I pick it up and throw it. She then knows that she has trained me to do this and when she wants the stick thrown, she will sit patiently next to it and and wait for me to respond.

I also did this when going for walks on the lead. When she pulled me, I refused to ‘learn’ that this meant “go forwards” and I stood still. When she was waiting next to me, I moved forward. She soon realised that I was ‘unable’ to walk while she was pulling and would only move forwards if I was leading.

Dogs chase things. It is very difficult to stop them. We live on farm land and when I first got my dog, the farmer suggested that I put her in with a ewe. A dog who has been tossed by a ewe does not chase sheep. (I think this is how farmers train their dogs.) I was not prepared to risk broken bones and pain for my puppy, so I decided to not do this. I am now very careful to ensure that she is always on the lead near farm animals. She is pretty good as she has regularly walked with me through fields of animals, but I do not trust her and so keep her on the lead.

I did however follow the farmer’s advice with our cats. I allowed our puppy to experience first hand what an adult cat is capable of. She acquired a sore nose and the understanding that cats do not like to be chased. Now, when I introduce kittens to her, she is always very submissive and polite (I think she is not entirely sure if they are bigger than her.)

You also need to be aware of the dog’s innate needs. When a dog is young she will go through a teething period, just like a young child. She will need to chew something to stop her jaws aching. If you do not provide something, she will chew your furniture, shoes and bags. Give her something she is allowed to chew on. I find those raw hide chews are good, though you need to keep an eye on them so they don’t choke if they pull bits off.

Puppies have small bladders. They need to be given a place to wee. Do be careful though. I know someone who trained their dog to toilet on newspaper. Then one day, when having breakfast, he went to answer the door. When he returned, his newspaper on the breakfast table had a poop on it! If you train an intelligent dog to do something, they will learn it well. ‘Unlearning’ is pretty difficult.

Big dogs need a fair amount of exercise. If you are not prepared to do this, don’t get a large dog. You do not need to do as much exercise yourself (though it might not be a bad idea in some cases.) You can throw sticks for them to fetch, either up a hill or into water so they have to swim to retrieve it. Most intelligent dogs were bred to be working dogs. They therefore need to ‘work’. No, you don’t need to buy a flock of sheep, but you do need to provide some stimulation. Hide things for them to find, take them on long walks, throw sticks in places that are difficult to reach. You can buy a toy that holds dog biscuits which are awkward for them to get out. A bored dog will find their own amusement and that is generally not good.

Have very few rules and then stick to them rigidly. There are some rooms in my house which my dogs are not allowed in. Ever. Not even a foot. If they start to come in, I say no in a ‘barky’ voice (they are dogs, they understand tone better than words.) I do not shut the doors, I do not put up a fence, they just know that they are not allowed in those rooms. Dogs understand territory. My dog gets very cross when my husband goes into those rooms, as she considers herself far above him in the pecking order, but she will merely sit at the door and swear at him, she knows that she cannot come in.

The only time she ever broke this rule was after I came home after surgery and stayed in bed for a few days and she sneaked upstairs to see if I was there. I had never realised before that a dog can tiptoe! She looked so guilty when she was spotted that she practically leaped down the stairs.

Dogs generally have very good hearing. You do not need to shout. I never understand why so many owners yell at their dogs. If you say something and your dog ignores you, it is not because she has not heard! If you say something many times, you are teaching your dog that she does not need to obey you until you have said it at least six times. Say it once. If your dog ignores you, get up and leave. Your dog is much too nosey/bossy to let you leave without her. When she follows you, take her back and tell her again, once. If you call her when you are out and she does not return, then walk away. Do not keep calling. Your dog will not let you get lost, she will come when you start to leave.

Do not give ‘mixed messages’. If you feed your dog when you are eating, you cannot then expect her to know that she cannot always help herself from your plate/table. If you are happy sharing food, then fine. If not, then only ever feed your dog in her own bowl in a specific place. As I said before, dogs understand territory, we just need to be consistent. If she even puts her nose up to the table top, tell her “No,” not even ‘nearly’ is allowed.

An intelligent dog will have opinions and there is little we can do to change those. My daughter has a friend who my dog hates. He seems a perfectly nice person but she barks and snarls whenever he visits. I do not know why (but am beginning to be a little suspicious of him myself now.)

My dog also hates pigeons. She also hates the other dog who appears every evening at the dark glass door (she has never really got the hang of reflections.)

As for hitting your dog: don’t. It wont achieve anything good. I do sometimes shout abuse at my dog (I am only human and sometimes I get angry.) She just looks at me with her superior “she has lost it” expression. (As I said before, it is a lot like parenting boys. Dogs cannot roll their eyes.) She certainly does not learn anything useful. I do not however hit my dog. I cannot see how inflicting pain will achieve anything. My vet once told me to smack my Labrador with a rolled up newspaper, saying it would create a loud noise but not hurt her. I did. It did not change her behaviour. Mind you, she is a Labrador. She does not have opinions. I love her dearly but am suspicious that the only thought that ever enters her head is, “Can I eat that?”

Usually I am very grateful for my German Shepherd’s opinions. When we are walking in a secluded place and a man approaches and my dog eyes him suspiciously and growls very quietly so he gives us a lot of space, I am pleased. When travellers come to try and sell me a new driveway and my dog snarls at them so they head back to their van before they have even finished speaking, I am pleased. There are also random people who my dog is always delighted to meet and she dances around them in joy. I am beginning to think they must be very nice people.

My dog is completely sure of her superiority. So when my mother took her for a walk and could not work out how to attach the harness properly, my dog walked patiently next to her, giving her many looks to convey, “You did this wrong so I will walk very close to you in case it falls off.” She gets very angry when wild ducks come to visit our pond and comes to tell me. She is also not too happy when we have bulls in the field next door and spends a lot of time checking they stay on their side of the hedge.

If you own a dog with opinions, you will have a faithful friend who is brilliant company and very forgiving of all your mistakes (and they will notice every single one.)

Sometimes my family complain that I love my dog more than I love them. Let’s just hope I never have to choose between them………

If you enjoyed this, why not sign up to follow my blog?

anneethompson.com

xxxxxxx

If you enjoyed this, you will love my new book: The Sarcastic Mother’s Holiday Diary.
I have always written a diary on holiday, so last Christmas, I decided to find all my old diaries and blogs, and make a book for my children. However, several other people also asked for a copy, so I have written a public version – it’s available on Amazon and has been described as “The Durrells meet Bill Bryson”!

Why not buy a copy today? I think it will make you laugh.

The US link is here:

https://www.amazon.com/Sarcastic-Mothers-Holiday-Diary-ebook/dp/B07N95281F/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1549015525&sr=8-1&keywords=the+sarcastic+mothers+holiday+diary

The India link is here:

https://www.amazon.in/Sarcastic-Mothers-Holiday-Diary-ebook/dp/B07N95281F/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1549015429&sr=8-1&keywords=the+sarcastic+mothers+holiday+diary

The UK link is here:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sarcastic-Mothers-Holiday-Diary-ebook/dp/B07N95281F/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1549014970&sr=8-2&keywords=the+sarcastic+mothers+holiday+diary

Anne E. Thompson is the author of several novels.

Anne E. Thompson has written several novels and non-fiction books. You can find her work in bookshops and Amazon.
Why not sign up to follow her blog today?
anneethompson.com

Thank you for reading.

xxxxxx

Garda, Italy

Posted by anneethompson

Lake Garda, Italy

Excerpts from a family diary August 2014

Wednesday: We arrived at Hotel du Lac du Parc, booked through Citalia. I had recently had surgery, so David and I drove there via France, Luxembourg, Germany and Austria. It was a lovely drive, really interesting and the traffic was okay.

Met the family there (they flew.)
I walked around the hotel grounds. Very pretty gardens with lots of little ponds with bridges and ducks. There are chalets in the grounds where you could stay (seemed to suit people with young children who prefer to self cater.)

There are also two swimming pools, one which seems more suited to young families. Both have plenty of sun loungers next to them and a nice mix of shade and sun. We liked the one next to the bar, where you could buy drinks and ice creams and take them back to the loungers.

I was feeling ill so had dinner in my room. The family ate in the hotel restaurant then played cards in the bar.

Hotel is nice.

Bathroom light seems to be permanently on, which is a little odd.

Thursday: All had breakfast on the terrace.
Very nice food.
Nasty coffee and juice from a machine. Then realised that other people were ordering drinks from the waiters. We copied and then had very nice coffee and fresh juice.

Mark said he did not want to see the opera in Verona, which we have already bought tickets for. David said that was fine, but he had to then pay the €120 for the ticket.
Mark then asked, “Why would you pay so much for me to not enjoy something?”
I decided not to join discussion.

There are dogs here which is nice. Someone has allowed their dog to wee in the lift, which is not nice.

Went to pizza place opposite hotel for lunch. Villa Aranci. Very nice, rustic setting, not too expensive Boys had tankards of beer, I had some nice wine.

I slept. Everyone else swam.The hotel provides blue swimming towels, which is good (some hotels do not allow you to remove towels from the rooms.)

Becky sunbathed. Boys then played “How near to Rebecca can we throw the ball and not hit her.” They do not improve with age.

Nice dinner in restaurant. Family went to watch a jazz concert in town, I went to bed.

Friday: Pouring with rain, which was disappointing.
Breakfast.
Relaxed day doing very little.
Lunch at pizzeria again.

Nice dinner then had hot chocolate in the bar and played games. Everyone discussed the bathroom lights, which are always on in all our rooms.

Saturday: Raining again.
Family went to hotel gym or read/slept.
Went to Co-op near hotel and bought food for lunch.
Ate on balcony (each room has a balcony overlooking the garden.) Mark chose beer, nutella and crisps. Great diet….

Family played Catan then swam.
I walked into town with Nina (Riva del Garda, a five minute walk from the hotel.)Saw a band.

Sunday: Not raining. Excellent.
Breakfast, then family swam. An Austrian boy joined them at the pool.

Walked into town and looked around. Some nice shops selling touristy things.

Pizza in restaurant next to lake. Bottled water which arrived open and tasted of ‘tap’.

I slept, family went to pool and played volley ball.
Were joined by a group of Germans. Mark said he managed to use all three of the German words he knows. One is a swear word. Super.

Found a switch under the mirror in the bathroom. This operates the bathroom light. Informed family.

Nice dinner. The restaurant staff are really friendly. They have noticed that James eats the most, so always give him a huge portion.
David always orders three bottles of wine: a nice one for us (and anyone else who wants it), a sweet white (usually Becky and Nina drink that) and a red (for just Mark. Hmmmm)

Monday: Another cloudy day.
Gave up on pool when it started to rain.
Walked into town (5 minutes) and got a ferry to Limone. It was very windy on the ferry, wished I had worn something warmer.

Limone was a pretty town. Had some nice little shops for buying trinkets.
Had coffee and ice creams, then got the ferry back.

James told us that going to reception to say that you have lost your key card for the fourth time is embarrassing.
Rebecca told us that she is going to make an “I am 22” badge. (She gets a lot of attention from boys in the 12 -15 age bracket!)

Tuesday: Rebecca did the ‘ice bucket challenge’. The concierge (male) seemed delighted to throw a bucket of iced water over her.

Drove to Verona.
Stayed at Romeo and Guilietta hotel (booked through Citalia).
We had been told that parking was provided. They showed us on a map where we would probably find a parking space (which is not what we were expecting) and gave us a permit.
I was ill, so slept in room. Family walked around the city and had ice creams.

Watched Madam Butterfly in the arena. Is such a magical setting. This time we took cushions to sit on and bottles of drink. They confiscated the bottles, though we were allowed to pour the drink into plastic cups. (They said it was due to the health risk from glass bottles. However, there were people wandering throughout the arena selling glass bottles of drinks, so was somewhat inconsistent!)

Wednesday: Returned to Garda.
I was ill so stayed in room.
David, Nina and James took big inflatables to the lake and floated around on the waves.
I was too ill to go into dinner. The staff were very accommodating and let David order from the restaurant menu and then bring it to me on a tray. So much nicer than having to pay for room service.
They also started to ask if David had murdered me, as they had not seen me for some time!
During the meal, the room started to shake. I texted to ask if we were having an earthquake.The family all rushed upstairs thinking I was having a funny turn! They assured me I was imagining things, should stay in bed and went back to finish their meal.

Thursday: Another sunny day so family relaxed at pool.
News reports were all discussing the earthquake tremors from the previous day (Ha.)

Saturday: I finally felt well enough to go into dinner.
It was fun but clearly the family had become rather out of control in my absence: Mark received a menu with additional comments, such as, “okay but sauce no good” scribbled next to each dish. The head waiter was adding his own recommendations! David produced a list of Italian phrases copied from google translate, which he proceeded to read while the waiter waved his arms in exasperation. James confided that he has now lost his room key six times, so has ‘borrowed’ the cleaner’s one.

Sunday: Mark has been to keen to try the little “make your own tart” things at the buffet breakfast. Unfortunately, the pastry case (which in fairness, does look remarkably like a small ice cream cone) turned out to be cardboard. It is for collecting jam in, not eating. He realised on his first bite.

Breakfasts were nice. There was an extensive buffet and in one corner was the ‘egg lady’ where you could line up and ask her to cook eggs, omelets or pancakes.

David and Mark, James and Nina decided to take two man canoes out onto the lake. There was a cabin in the hotel garden where you could hire canoes and life jackets.
They went out and I took photos.
Such beautiful scenery.
Rebecca then switched places with Nina and the two boys went together.
They managed to tip up and lost James’ tee shirt, which he had been using as a back rest.
Also, at some point, each male decided to stand up. Individually. For no reason. Why would you feel the need to stand up on a canoe? It is like climbing towers and throwing socks in random places: one more thing about men that I cannot understand even a little bit.

Monday: During breakfast, James’ room key fell out of his pocket. (I have lost count now.) A nice lady pointed it out.

The family drove up into the mountains around Garda. They said it was cold! They took some great photos of the views.

Mark locked one of James’ shoes in the safe. He then lost the code. The only option was to ask the security man to come and open the safe. There was some discussion as to who should do this. I have absolutely no idea how they explained that it contained only a flip flop.

At dinner time, there is a miniature orchid on each table. Very pretty. Nina caused ours to have a slight mishap. May try and switch it. Or glue it?

The hotel is full of German people. I guess they drive down, presumably with their dogs. I have had to instigate a ban on mentioning the war or speaking loudly in a fake German accent. (Do other mothers have these problems?)

We left for our long drive home.

This was such a lovely hotel, with friendly staff. Even being ill here was nice because they had such a relaxed manner. It was clean and pretty with lovely meals and lots of activities, most of which we didn’t manage to try. I definitely hope to stay here again. Next time I will hire bikes, and get the ferry to all the little towns around the lake and maybe walk up a mountain or two. Will also be ideal if I ever decide to bring my ducks on holiday….

Palma del Rio, Spain

Posted by anneethompson

Palma del Rio,Spain

Family Holiday 2008.

A learning experience……

Saturday 2nd August (Please note the month. It matters…)

Flew to Malaga.
Waited over an hour for Hertz hire car to be ready.
Drove to Palma del Rio.
The instructions, map and actual road numbers all completely different. Felt somewhat stressed. Spent about an hour in Palma del Rio trying to find villa.
In the end we phoned the owner and forced Rebecca to use her GCSE spanish and get us directions. (She actually did rather well.)
Met Pepe.

Villa very pretty, lots of dark wood and comfortable furniture. Rather smelly (of poo.)

Extremely hot.

(This villa can still be booked through: holidaylettings.co.uk I notice that it now has air conditioning. If your husband ever tells you that ceiling fans are just as good as air conditioning, do not believe him.)

Went to Supermarket in Palma del Rio. Hard to find stuff without speaking spanish.
Bought food and cleaning materials.

Family swam, I cleaned villa (it wasn’t dirty, I just could not work out where the smell was coming from and felt better knowing that I had thoroughly cleaned everything myself.)

So hot. At 9pm it was 40º.

Sunday: Fuse blew at 6am and everyone woke because the fans stopped working.

Late breakfast then swam, read, relaxed.

Evening, had dinner in Rio del Palma. Most restaurants have shut for August (because it is so hot that everyone who lives here goes somewhere else! This area is known as ‘The Frying Pan’ and I know why now…)

Walked through a park and had an ice cream and some nice sangria.

Monday: Shopped, had pizza lunch then swam.

Went into Palma but did not manage to find the Tourist Information Office.

Ate dinner in a restaurant that used to be a monastery. Menu was all in spanish. When we used the dictionary we translated it as ‘road kill’, ‘chatty aubergine’ and ‘gizzard’. Meals pretty awful when they arrived (so maybe those were the correct translations after all.)
Puddings were very nice, so was the sangria.

Way too hot.

Tuesday: We found the Tourist Info but they didn’t speak any English.

Did very little, too hot.

Wednesday: Had a very nice coffee in town and strolled around.

Drove to Cordoba. Saw mosque turned cathedral, lots of arches. I found it more interesting than the boys did.

Cordoba very pretty, lots of narrow streets selling silver. I bought a silver necklace.

Had hot chocolate and churos.

Walked around a park.

Found a nice tapas cafe.

Walked some more. My feet hurt (probably swelled up in the heat) so bought some leather sandals. Then got a whole new lot of blisters in different places.

Walked to a horrid square. Ate horrid ice creams.

Drove back to Palma. Passed a castle on a hill which was lit up so it looked exactly like it was floating in the sky. Magical.

Thursday. Did nothing, too hot.

Dinner in Ecija, in a museum restaurant (was better than it sounds.)
We were always the only customers in all the restaurants.

Friday: Swam and lazed.

Saturday: Went into town and managed to buy postage stamps without Rebecca helping! Had lemonade and coffee.

Drove to the castle and had a beer. I got locked in the toilet. For ages. Family didn’t notice.

Sunday: Rebecca traumatised as there was a lizard in her room. Mark not overly sympathetic. I tried to catch it and chased it behind the wardrobe, which didn’t seem to reassure her.

Went into town for a coffee. It’s nice coffee but I swear the price went up a little every day. David tried to order coke instead and the man asked if he wanted milk in it, so gave up and had coffee too.

Went back to villa to find a mouse swimming in the pool.

Went to chinese restaurant in Palma. Nice, lots of food, really tasty.

Drove to Cordoba. Found Salon de Te. Very interesting. Had drinks and tapas.

Drove home via a really cool square – Plaza Cappuchino – full of low lights and candles.

Monday: Drove to Seville.
Followed walk in guide book for a while but extremely hot and children complaining.
Gave up and went back to Palma for dinner.

Tuesday: Lazed around.
Started planning another trip to Seville tomorrow, will be better prepared this time.
I did some washing in the children’s bathroom and noticed sewage bubbling up into the shower tray. This explains the unfortunate smells.

Wednesday: Men came and emptied the septic tank. Stinks.

Drove to Seville.
Left the children at an amusement park with a telephone and lots of instructions about staying together.
We got a taxi into town. I had worn comfortable shoes.
Wandered around Seville, very pretty (though still hot.)
Had coffee.
Had a horse and carriage ride around the city and park – much the best way to see the city without dying of heat exhaustion.

Tried to buy a tea pot but all the shops were shut..
Collected the children. They had all had fun except for James who was slightly hysterical due to a scary roller coaster that Rebecca had insisted he went on because they weren’t allowed to separate.

Drove back to stinky house.

David made cocktails then gambled with the children. (Sometimes not convinced we would get any parenting prizes.)

Thursday: Coffee in town.
Tried to order a bread and tomato dish that we have seen other people eating. Failed. (Stupid waitress.)
Tried to buy a tea pot. Failed. (Stupid town.)
Read swam, played cards.
Went for a drive (in search of tea pots. Failed.
Dinner in Palma, then watched a Jude Law film in Spanish. Was not great.

Friday: Had coffee at the ice cream parlour in Palma. Nice. David had crushed tomatoes, olives and bread with oil and salt. He was happy.
Drove around, swam and lazed.
Dinner at a nice hotel in Ecija.
Packed. David appeared to be trying to pack the drawers but he assured us he was mending them.

Saturday: Home. Felt cold.

Anne E Thompson

Author

Author: anneethompson

Family Battles

Home Time

Milan, Italy

Puglia, Italy

Taormina, Sicily

Love

Verona, Italy

How to Train a Dog with Opinions

Garda, Italy

Palma del Rio, Spain

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