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Mary’s Story

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by Anne E. Thompson

I travelled to Bethlehem in a small cart. Every bump (and there were many) was agony. As I jolted along, I was racked with pain. The baby’s time was near, you see and the pain was almost unbearable. Later, they would sing songs about a cute donkey carrying me. Nice thought! I don’t think there’s any way you could have got me on a donkey. As each contraction cramped every muscle in my torso, I huddled up like an animal and prayed for it to be over.

I could see Joseph, watching me as he walked alongside. He really didn’t have the first idea what to do. Oh, how I wanted my mother. I yearned for her to be there, holding my hand, telling me everything was all right and would be over soon.

When we arrived at Joseph’s uncle’s house, the women folk came and helped me inside. The room was crowded. All Joseph’s male relatives from miles around had come to the house for shelter and food. The women were busy cooking supper and the men were drinking wine and comparing stories. They all told Joseph how much he resembled his grandfather, Matthan and laughed at old stories from years ago. The smell of fish and fresh bread was nauseating. I was so tired and so uncomfortable.

Joseph knew I was suffering and asked if there was somewhere quiet that I could go. There was no chance that we would get a place in the inn, they had filled up days ago. Somewhere quiet, in a little house packed with relatives?

There were some fraught discussions and then his aunt suggested that the animal shelter, down on the lower floor of the house, might be best. It wasn’t terribly clean, but it would be quiet and private and at least it wouldn’t smell of fish.

Joseph helped me to go down, and a couple of the women came too. One of them examined me and told me the baby was a long way off yet, first babies always take their time in coming. This was not great news but I felt better having her there. I felt that she knew what was happening, had seen this before; it took some of the fear away.

I was frightened, you see. I was horribly afraid that somehow I would damage my baby. My baby and God’s. I knew he was going to be special, I knew I had a great task ahead of me but it all seemed to be going horribly wrong. I trusted that God was still in control but he felt so far away.

Could the baby not have been born in a palace, surrounded by comfort? Would these poor beginnings really be part of a plan? Could they really make this king accessible to the people? I had no idea.

I was a mere girl; I had no education and my memory of scriptures was often fuzzy. To be honest, at this present moment, I didn’t even care. I just wanted this baby OUT! Special or not, my body was tired of carrying him, tired of being stretched and pushed, of fitting something inside that was now too big to be there. I needed this baby to be born and I was too exhausted to wait much longer.

How I longed for sleep. The pain in my back was terrible. Great waves of cramp that seared through my body, making me oblivious to everything else. I was vaguely aware that someone was sweeping the floor and moving the animals to a far corner. They had laid out a mattress and blankets for me to rest on but I couldn’t lie still for long. I felt better standing, rocking in time with the pain, trying to remember to breathe: in out, in out. Someone offered me water but I couldn’t drink. I wasn’t thirsty—I just wanted this baby to be born.

I could see Joseph with his big anxious eyes watching me. He didn’t know what to do. Someone suggested he should go into the house to eat and I nodded in agreement. There was nothing he could do and the poor man must have been tired too. He had endured such an emotional time lately. First there was his fear and anger when he first heard about the baby (now that was a difficult conversation). Then he had to endure the smirks of his friends when the pregnancy became public knowledge. He never complained, but I know he felt embarrassed, wished that God could have chosen a different girl.

We had been travelling for five days, with hardly any rest and the last couple of days had been chilly. I know he felt the burden of caring for me, watching for bandits on the roads and wondering if we would make it to Bethlehem in time. If the baby had come early, I don’t know what he’d have done—left me with strangers on the road somewhere I guess and come to register on his own. You didn’t mess with a Roman decree. . .

The pain eventually became almost constant. Joseph had eaten and rested but I continued to sway in discomfort in the little room of animals. Every so often one of them would poop, and although the women with me cleaned it up quickly, the smell pervaded the atmosphere. It was hard to ignore.

I could hear the musicians gathering, someone must have told them the birth would be soon. They would stand outside, waiting to hear whether the baby was a boy so they could play. That gave me hope, maybe soon the baby would arrive.

Then at last, in a final searing pain, the baby was born. I looked down at his blue waxy body as he wriggled on the blanket, and I knew that he was mine. My love for him was overwhelming. He was part of me, I would die rather than let anything hurt him.

One of the women wiped him down with oil and salt and I held him in my arms while they looked for the swaddling bands in our luggage.

How beautiful he was. His indigo eyes would soon turn brown and they gazed at me trustingly. I loved him with my whole being.

Outside, there was the sound of music and singing as the musicians heralded the arrival of a boy, and I smiled, knowing they would have quietly slid away into the night if the baby had been a girl. But there had been no chance of that, not this time.

Joseph came and took the baby from me. He held the tiny baby in his giant carpenter’s hands, hands that spoke of hard work and safety. He didn’t say anything, this man who had been chosen to protect me; he simply stared at the baby—looking, wondering.

Then the baby started to mouth for food and Joseph passed him back. The women showed me how to feed him, but he was soon asleep. Then we gently wrapped him in the swaddling bands, securing his tiny limbs so he would feel snug and secure and his bones would grow straight and true. He was so beautiful. It was hard to remember what the angel had told me, that this was God’s son too. I began to wonder if I had imagined it, if it were all a dream. This baby did not look like God, he was a baby. My baby.

“If it’s true God,” I thought, “Let there be another sign. He is so little and I love him so much. Is all this travelling, and squashing into a crowded house with the animals, really part of the plan? Are you still in control? Can you still see me? Remind me again…”

I too needed to sleep. Joseph fetched fresh hay and put it in the animal’s manger, covering it with a soft blanket. I didn’t want him to put the baby there, I wanted to keep him on the bed next to me, but Joseph was worried I might roll on him in my sleep. Then he laid the baby down and told me to sleep. He looked deep into my eyes and brushed my collar bone lightly with his fingers.

“Soon you’ll be truly mine,” he whispered. I knew what he meant and felt myself blush.
I was so tired, I thought I would sleep for a week.

I actually slept for about two hours. I was abruptly woken by loud voices and a draft of cold air as the door was flung open. There, standing uncertainly in the doorway was a group of youths. Their clothes were dirty and exuded the strong smell of sheep. Joseph was with them.

“Mary? Are you awake?” he asked.

It would be hard not to be with all the noise from outside.

“These shepherds want to see the baby. They were told by angels where they could find him and they have come to look at him.”

I checked I was decently covered before nodding, letting Joseph know that it was all right, they could come in. They trouped into the room. They seemed so big and clumsy in such a small space, with their long limbs and rough clothes. I worried they might hurt the baby.

But they didn’t try to touch him, they just stared for a while and then one of them knelt and they all followed suit, kneeling before the manger, staring at the baby.

Then they told me their story, how they had been in the fields and an angel had appeared. They had thought they were going to die, to be struck down right where they were.

The angel had reassured them, told them that a saviour had been born, the Christ who we’ve all been waiting for. They would find him lying in a manger. Then suddenly there were lots of angels, all praising God and saying he was pleased with people on earth.

After the angels had gone, finding they were still alive after all, the shepherds decided to come at once and see for themselves. It was as though they couldn’t quite believe what they had seen and heard, they needed to actually see the baby with their own eyes.

I felt so humbled and so cared for. God had heard my thoughts. He was reassuring me. It was all his plan, not some terrible mistake; circumstances hadn’t caused us to drop out of his control, he could still see me. We were meant to be here. He even knew about the manger.

I listened and smiled and treasured my thoughts.

The shepherds left as noisily as they came. I could hear them in the streets, shouting their news, telling everyone what had happened. They were so excited, I expect they woke up half the town. They had of course woken the baby who was now crying with a thin wail that jarred my nerves and was impossible to ignore. I fed him some more and then we both slept. A tired, contented sleep borne from exhaustion and wonder.

***

After eight days, Joseph came and circumcised the baby. How he wailed! It felt cruel, though I knew it was the right thing to do, even in this strange place we must obey the Jewish laws. We also formally gave him the name Yeshua, the name we had been told to give him by the angel all those months ago.

I wondered if Joseph minded, people would know it wasn’t a family name. I also had no one called Yeshua in my own family, though I did know a boy from my childhood with the name.

***

After forty days, we had to travel to Jerusalem, to pay for redemption at the temple. As Joseph was from the tribe of Judah, we had to pay five shekels of silver. We couldn’t afford a lamb, so bought two pigeons to sacrifice.

It was nice to leave Bethlehem and to have some exercise at last, to see people and to take my baby into the world. I felt quite excited as I approached the temple, our holy place. I didn’t recognise anyone, but everyone could see we had a new baby and lots of the women came over to see him. I felt so happy. We walked through the Beautiful Gate and up to the Gate of Nicanor.

It was then that something strange happened. As Joseph and I walked through the temple, a man approached us. He came to look at Yeshua and indicated that he wanted to hold him. That was a little unusual but there was something about him, something that made you sure he was a good man, someone you could trust.

When he looked at the baby, the old man got all emotional and prayed, thanking God and saying that now he could die in peace. He blessed me and Joseph too and then he leant towards me and said something which was very strange.

He said Yeshua would cause “the fall and rising of many in Israel” and would be “a sign that would be opposed so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”

What does that mean? I know that he is God’s own son and that he is part of the plan to establish God’s reign on earth. Will he be opposed? Surely everyone will accept God’s anointed one, we have waited so long for him.

But then he said something that made me afraid; this old man with his determined face and bright eyes. His face was very near, I could smell his breath.

He said that a sword would pierce my soul.

Something inside contracted, all the joy of entering the temple evaporated into a lump of fear. Fear and anger. I practically snatched Yeshua away from him. I want my son to grow strong and be happy, will I suffer for this? I will do everything in my power to protect him; he is mine.

I knew I was tired, not getting enough sleep and it was hard to care for a new baby in a strange place without my mother to help me. I felt that I did not want to hear the man’s words, even if they were true. I was coping with enough, and I felt that although I had been brave, I couldn’t be brave any more.

Thankfully the man left us and almost at once an old lady approached. She was ancient, her white hair showed under her mitpahath and she leant heavily on a stick. What I noticed most were her eyes. They almost sparkled! You could tell at once that she was a holy woman and also one who loved to laugh. As soon as she saw Yeshua, the elderly woman started to pray loudly, thanking God and telling people nearby that if they wanted Jerusalem to be redeemed, they should look to the baby. I was glad that no Romans were allowed in the temple; we would have been in trouble.

We finished making the offerings and then went back to Bethlehem. I didn’t know whether to tell Joseph what the old man had told me. I kept thinking about his words, worrying about what they might mean. I was so tired, I decided I would wait and maybe tell him later.

***

The months passed and we settled into life in Bethlehem. We moved into a little house and Joseph found work on the many building projects that the Romans have introduced.

Yeshua continued to thrive. He grew into a sturdy toddler and would walk around the room holding onto the stools and baskets. I loved to feel his solid weight when I carried him on my hip, the light touch of his chubby fingers when he reached up to touch my face. There was pure joy in the gurgle of his giggles. He started to sleep much better at night and Joseph and I were thinking about having another child. But then everything changed.

It was one evening, still quite early but we had filled the lamp with olive oil and lit the linen wick. Joseph put it on a bushel basket, so the room was well lit and we could talk about the day. Suddenly, there was a banging at the door.

Joseph went at once and there, in the road, was a group of Persian travellers. They had dismounted from their horses and were peering intently into the house. They told Joseph they had seen a star and had come to worship the king. I was so glad I hadn’t gone to bed yet.

We let them into the house and I went to get Yeshua. He was damp from sleep and his tired eyes looked blearily around him. I wondered if he would cry but he seemed fascinated by our strange visitors. They wore their hair in long curls and one had a band of gold on his head. It glinted in the lamp light and I could see Yeshua watching it intently. Their clothes were patterned with birds and flowers.

We offered them wine; it was clear they were tired from their journey. I was embarrassed that we only had two stools to offer them, but they didn’t seem to mind and in fact insisted that I should sit on one with Yeshua and they were happy to sit on the rush mat. They didn’t really sit anyway, they wanted to kneel before Yeshua.

Then they gave him gifts. They were beautiful to look at. They gave him gold, signifying that he is a king. They gave him frankincense. The strong aroma filled the house and I wondered if Yeshua was to be a priest, even though he is not descended from Levi. They also gave him myrrh. Myrrh is costly but is for embalming a body. It was a strange gift for a baby and I wondered what it meant.

They told us their story before they left. In their Persian home, they were magi, watching the stars and foretelling the future. Many months ago, at the time of Yeshua’s birth, they had seen a special star which they knew meant a powerful new king had been born and they determined they would find him and worship him. Unfortunately, following the star caused them to go to Jerusalem first (I always knew that star gazing was a misleading activity). They went to Herod’s palace and asked where the new king was. This was scary; Herod had shown he was not a king to be trusted and his cruelty was well known. I would not have wanted to visit his palace.

However, it sounded as though he had decided to be helpful. Herod asked the scribes to research the early scriptures and they discovered that the promised king was to be born in Bethlehem. The king told the Easterners, asking them to find the king and then return and tell him the exact location, so that he too could worship.

I wondered what would happen next. Would Herod himself come to visit my precious baby or would we be summoned to the palace? This was not a comfortable thought.

I also wondered: why had the palace scribes not come to visit us? Why didn’t they travel with the Easterners to see the baby? Did they not believe the scriptures that they studied so diligently? Surely, if they were truly expecting a redeemer they would also have come? I frowned, feeling uneasy. There was something that I didn’t understand, and it nagged at me.

The men left. They planned to sleep in an inn and return to Jerusalem the next day. We could not offer them lodging in our tiny house and they seemed content to leave now they had seen Yeshua. I returned Yeshua to bed and soon afterwards Joseph and I also went to sleep.

I had not been asleep for long when Joseph woke me. He shook me awake, then went to light the lamp. I could see his face was tense and instantly turned to check Yeshua was well. He was sleeping soundly.

Joseph told me I needed to get up—at once—we needed to leave. He said that he had had a dream, like the dream when the angel told him that the baby inside me was God’s son. It was so intense, so real, that he could not ignore it. Joseph said he had been told we must leave Bethlehem, leave Israel; Yeshua is in danger, Herod plans to kill him.

For a moment I paused, wondering why I too had not been warned. But then understanding flooded through me, as I realised—God had told Joseph to take care of me and Yeshua—that was a hard task for a man, to care for a son that was not his own. So now, God was telling Joseph alone what we needed to do, underlining his role, establishing him as head of our family. It was a kind act, asserting Joseph’s value, his part in all this.

I began to pack our things, Joseph was hurrying me, telling me to only take what was essential, we needed to leave. We were to go to Egypt. Egypt! Could this be right? Was Yeshua not to be king of the Jews? I packed hurriedly and we left that very night.

What would the future hold? Would we ever return to our home town? The future was uncertain but I knew that something bigger than us was happening. Whatever happened, God had a plan and no one could alter the course of that, not Herod, not the Romans. We didn’t know what was going to happen, but we were part of the plan—and that was enough.

******

Thank you for reading and Happy Christmas! I hope you have a special day.

This account necessarily involves some imagination but I believe it is also as historically correct as possible (and more accurate than some of our Christmas carols).
If you are aware of any historical errors, please tell me and I will modify it.
I used a variety of sources including:
The Gospels of Matthew and Luke
Geoffrey Bromiley (1995)
William Hendriksen
William Barclay
Joseph P Amar (university of Notre Dame)
Michael Marlowe
Tessa Afshar
Kenneth Bailey

anneethompson.com
*****

Meg’s Diary– 8 Weeks

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The first week with Meg was exhausting—mainly because I needed to learn her, and I daren’t trust her for a moment alone. I also really hate poop in the house, so I was constantly watching to see if she needed to toilet. She was actually really good at this, and very quickly learnt what ‘Be quick!’ meant, so pretty much can pee on-demand in return for a treat. We managed to have only 2 accidents, and those were within a few hours of arriving home. It’s surprising how two adults can be so focussed on a small puppy’s bladder.

Sleep has got better. She goes out at midnight, and then sleeps until 6 am. We will gradually increase this, as her bladder gets stronger. She now is used to her crate, and knows she must sleep when put in it.

I found really helpful lessons online: Absolute Dogs, on Youtube. They teach all the things that the breeder also recommended, and it’s really helpful (especially for a clever breed). So I hand-feed Meg her food (which creates a bond—because I really need her to pay attention to me, or we will be doomed!) I also keep part of her meal in my pocket, for regular treats to reward good behaviour. This week we have concentrated on a few lessons.

Meeting Grandma. When I go out, I take Meg with me. Mostly she is good.

Most importantly, Meg comes when I call. I love to watch her short legs leaping across the garden! She also knows to sit, and that she will not receive her treat unless sitting. The main lessons (which will take a while) are that not everything is her business, and being calm is good. The first of these is super-important for a gsd. Although she’s gorgeous now, and everyone wants to touch her, in a few months she will be a big scary dog. She needs to learn now that bounding up to people is not the right behaviour, instead she should ignore everyone, and focus only on me (and the treat in my pocket!) This applies to people, children, and animals—she has to learn to ignore them. The cat, Millie, who comes in the house regularly, is helping with the training, and Meg is learning that interfering with a cat is a bad idea. We are still working on not chasing the poultry (and the cockerel has to learn not to fight the puppy—but that’s harder to teach).

Being calm is also difficult, but she’s getting better. I bought some toys to chew, and she does, on occasion, lie at my feet and peacefully play. However, she views Husband as a hugely exciting game, and whenever she sees him all ‘calm’ disappears and she becomes an uncontrollable force. Unfortunately, there are no online lessons for teaching husbands to be calm. Though he assures me that he is trying.

It was my daughter’s wedding blessing this week, and Meg was introduced to being in a crowd—while ignoring everyone. I walked into the room, carrying Meg and feeding her treats while talking softly, trying to ensure she concentrated on me, and not everyone else. Apart from her tail (lots of mad wagging) she did very well at ignoring the crowd.

The main game she enjoys is collecting all her toys into a heap. So I throw a toy, she runs to get it, then takes it to the doormat. I repeat with the next toy. I guess it’s the puppy equivalent of herding sheep. She does the same with sticks, and the back step is now covered in sticks.

I feel this week has been about learning each other, and settling into a routine. She seems very clever, and very strong-willed, and I am hoping to be the boss before the teenaged-rebellion starts. There’s a long way to go, but we are making progress. And she is completely beautiful, which helps. Hope you have a good week. Take care, and thanks for reading.
Love, Anne x

Travelling is not her favourite thing. But she has stopped being car-sick, so that’s good.

I will let you know how Meg develops. I am writing this postscript a few weeks later, and you will see from the photo below, that this dog is possibly too clever for me! This is what happened at 12 weeks, when I told her to ‘sit!’ (She’s not allowed on the furniture.)

A New Puppy

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Meg’s Diary: First Day

We drove to near Northampton to collect Meg. You might remember from an earlier blog, that I was looking for a German Shepherd puppy, and learnt that working gsd are a very different strain. They are shorter, stockier, and generally have less health problems and nervous issues—so they are less likely to react badly due to fear. They also tend to have more energy/focus, which I worried might be a problem (as I don’t have sheep to be herded, only a few poultry) but we requested one, and I started reading. ‘Being calm’ was going to be an important lesson.

When we arrived, all the puppies were outside, in a pen. All my worries disappeared and I realised that I really really wanted a puppy—or maybe several! They were gorgeous, full of life as they chased each other and played with an empty milk carton and tried to leap the fence to say hello. Nearly all of their ears were up (a show strain gsd has floppy ears until they are several months old) and they had stocky little legs and nice straight backs and you could tell they were going to be strong dogs.

I asked to see their mother—because that seemed sensible. She was still lovely, though looked more tired than when I had seen her previously!

The breeder recommended Meg, as I had asked for a darker sable, and she knew I didn’t want a pup who was ‘very driven.’ Not that any of them looked particularly calm.

We paid and put her in the car. (£2,000 in case you are interested—a big increase from the £450 we paid for Kia when she was a puppy—but comparable to other reputable breeders. You have to divide that between 16 years, and then it’s worth the price.) The price covered her first vaccine and worm-course, a chip to identify her, and half a bag of dog food. I thanked the breeder (because she had sold me the best thing ever) and we left.

Meg started to cry as soon as we left. I really wanted her on my lap, but I wasn’t sure of the law/view of breeder (and gsd breeders are very fussy, and will refuse to release their puppies unless they are certain the new owner will be sensible). However, I also felt that the two-hour trip would be a good bonding time. So we stopped (like naughty children, as soon as we were out of sight!) and I transferred the puppy onto my lap.

She was easy to control, and I had piles of towels to hand in case of accidents, and I hoped she would just sleep. She didn’t. But she was settled, and she snuggled into me and watched Husband drive. A couple of times she was sick, but I am pretty nifty with bags after years of baby-vomit, so it was fine. By the time we arrived home, we knew each other.

I took Meg into the kitchen and put her on the floor. She ran round, knocked over a plant, tried to eat the plant, tried to eat me when I started to clear up. She has super-sharp claws and very pointy teeth. A friend had kindly leant me a puppy-pen. The first time we put Meg in it, she leapt at the sides, managed to get half-way up, and tried to leap the rest of the way. I worried she might either fall backwards, or climb over—either way she would be hurt. Husband managed to find a super-large crate at Argos, meant for a Wiemaraner but perfect for an energetic gsd puppy.

The first night, we did as the breeder had suggested. When we went to bed, we put Meg into a small crate, turned off the lights, left her. She cried, barked, sounded like she was being murdered, and then fell asleep. I slept within earshot. When she woke (2am) I went to her, didn’t turn on the lights or speak, took her in the garden to pee, returned her to the crate. She made a fuss, but fell asleep after about 10 minutes. When she woke again (4:30) I repeated. I got up at 5.30, and we started the day (I am usually up at 6ish, so that was fine). Whenever Meg toileted outside, she was praised and given a treat. She’s really clever, and we only had two accidents in the house. She cannot be left alone for a moment (unless she’s in her playpen-crate, which I don’t want to use too often). She seems very happy. I am exhausted.

Thanks for reading.

Take care.
Love, Anne x

***

Can You Name the Character?

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Quiz

  1. Who lost their home, possessions, children during a wager between God and the accuser, and were then ignored by God?
  2. Which prophet determined the outcome of a battle?
  3. Which unarmed, untrained civilian killed the head warrior of the opposition in a one-on-one encounter?
  4. Who was forced into a position of subservience, due to their talents rose to a position of authority within a foreign palace, and then used their wisdom to save the Israelite people?
  5. Who was the longest follower of Jesus, who never deserted him, and was there at the crucifixion?
  6. Whose action was stopped in the wilderness, and they then named God: ‘God who sees’?
  7. Name a child used to further God’s plan.
  8. Who defied the authorities to save the life of God’s people?
  9. Who were Mahlah, Noa, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah?
  10. Which story in JOSHUA 15:16-19 is repeated in JUDGES 1:12-15? Why is it important? How often have you heard it mentioned in church?
  11. What characteristics make a good leader?


    Answers
    1. Might be Job, but actually it’s Job’s wife.
    2. Deborah (Judges 4:9)
    3. You might have said David (against Goliath) but actually it was Jael, a housewife who hammered a tent peg through the man’s head! (Judges 4:21)
    4. Esther
    5. Mary, his mother
    6. You might think Abraham, when he was going to sacrifice Isaac, but actually it was Hagar. (Gen 16:13)
    7. You may have said Samuel, but it was Miriam—Moses’ sister.
    8. You may have Rahab in Jericho, Michel with David, or the Midwives in Exodus. Brave women, who risked their lives to defy the authorities.
    9. Numbers 27, daughters of Zelophead who asked for share in inheritance—radical protestors! Their story is told twice, and (unusually) they are named — but did you know who they were?
    10. The story of Caleb’s daughter. Yet she is rarely mentioned.
    11. Strong, leads from the front, not afraid to make mistakes, sense of direction, decisive, task-focussed, sense of gravitas? These are ‘masculine’ characteristics. Feminine leadership is about consensus, working as a group, collaboration, listening—Eg. Mo Mowlan in Ireland. Either gender can lead using either style, so Margaret Thatcher led with a ‘masculine’ leadership style. If groups are listing certain criteria when looking for leaders, they might be introducing bias.

So, how many answers did you know? When I did the quiz with a class of 12 year old’s, they all named different men in the Bible (It was an RS lesson, so they knew they all were in the Bible.) The point is, the answers are all females, yet they are rarely preached about, and often we don’t even know their names. At college, we have been studying feminist theology—so what is it? Some definitions are:

“Feminist theology is a theological movement primarily within Christianity and Judaism that is intended to re-examine scriptural teachings on women and women’s roles from a woman’s perspective. Feminist theology attempts to counter arguments or practices that place women in inferior spiritual or moral positions.”

Ann Bock: “Feminist theology, the study of God with special attention to women’s experience and their struggle for equality and justice, can be approached from at least three different perspectives: feminist theology as story, as history, and as traditional concepts and categories of academic theology. Each has its strengths and weaknesses, but all together, in combination with one another, they offer us a more complete picture and understanding of feminist theology”.

When using story, there will be a triangle between the author/story/reader When looking at history, we look at how women have been treated/recorded—Eg. Phyllis Trible wrote a well-known book, ‘Texts of Terror’. The treatment of women can be examined in history, and then evaluated—do we want to continue/copy the behaviour? How can it be addressed? If you look at some of the ‘terrible’ texts below, you will probably agree that no, we don’t want to treat women like this today.

Some texts that abuse women:
Gen 19:8 – daughters offered for rape
Numbers 30: 3-5, 6-8, 12-13 A man could overrule a woman’s pledge.
Numbers 5 A jealous husband can abuse/poison his wife to ‘prove’ her innocence.
Deut. 21:11-13 You can take a female captive as your wife, but first degrade her.
Deut. 22:13-30 Also chapter 24 Females were possessions, therefore ‘adultory’ was a property violation. A wife could not take action against her husband.
Exodus 21:7 A man can sell his daughter as a sex slave
Exodus 22:18 Female sorcerer should be killed (but not a male one???)
Judges 11:31, 34-40 Jephthah kills his daughter due to a bargain he made with God.

The problem with these texts is some men, in some places, use them to justify abusing women. This is never right, and we should all be helping to enable women to have value, to have a voice, and to have the same rights as men. I saw in Brazil, on a Tearfund trip, and in India, that people in poverty sometimes have an in-balance of gender power, and women have less justice than men.

I understand why ‘feminist theology’ is a thing, though I see problems too. There is a danger that some texts are disregarded as too misogynous, when we should be looking to see what we can learn from it. It also, like ‘liberation theology’ is in danger of creating ‘an other’ (men) and it is always dangerous to blame a whole group for all problems. I also dislike being put into a box, and I resent having a label, so most of these ‘theologies’ irritate me.

What do you think? Thanks for reading. Have a good week and take care.
Love, Anne x

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Talking to the Homeless Man

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Hello and how was your week? In college, we have been looking at Liberation Theology in Hermeneutics. Don’t stop reading! These are fancy names for simple ideas—as most jargon turns out to be. Hermeneutics simply means looking at how different groups interpret the Bible—what is their bias when they read? (We all have a bias, even if we aren’t aware of it.) And what are they looking for when they read, what sort of things do they emphasize?

Before the lecture, we were given a task: Speak to a homeless person. I thought this might be too difficult, as there are not generally homeless people begging where I live, but I was wrong. When I went to the dentist, there was a man begging next to Morrison’s. He had a sign: ‘I am hungry. God bless you.’ As a marketing device, I thought it was rather effective—nothing confrontational, stated the need, offered a reward. I decided that after the dentist, I would pop into Boots and buy something for lunch, then chat to him. I felt quite holy about this, feeding the hungry is something the Bible talks about lots. It did, of course, go wrong, because I am not as holy as I like to think. But first, I will tell you about Liberation Theology.

Liberation Theology started in South America in the 70’s (I think—possibly earlier, but that seems to be when the loudest voices appeared.) It looks at what the Bible says about inequality, and poverty, and people who are oppressed, and it encourages people to fight this. It teaches that everyone is equal, and God has a special love for the poor, and poor people often have a clearer view of who God is. Therefore, the rich should give financially to help the poor, and they should also listen to them and learn from them. It is not the benevolence of the greater person giving to the lesser, but rather a fair sharing of resources, and those with less having a voice, and teaching ‘life lessons’ to the rich.

In many ways, I agree with the teaching. However, there is also a Marxist element, a stirring up of trouble, encouraging people to protest, which I don’t see in the Bible. It creates ‘an other,’ a group of people who are ‘different’ and who therefore can be hated, and I think that is dangerous. That’s what the Nazis did with the Jews. Encouraging poor people to blame ‘the rich’ is not okay. I think the Bible should be applied to ourselves. So yes, if we are wealthy we should seek to balance resources (and everyone living in England is wealthy, when compared to those people in the world who have literally nothing—no furniture, home, food). We should be sharing what we have—it doesn’t belong to us, it comes from God and we should be using it wisely. However, the poor should apply the Bible to themselves too. They should be seeking to change, to become who God wants, too—not reading it to apply it to others. The Bible is meant to change us, not give us a stick to bash-up others.

But back to my homeless man. I went to Boots, and chose some food. Not easy, as I didn’t know his religion, and whether he would eat meat, and the only vegetarian sandwiches looked horrible. I bought some sandwiches, and some juice, and some water. Then I had the not-so-clever idea of buying some vitamin pills, thinking that I was only helping for a single meal, but with vitamins his health would improve for the next month. Stupid idea.

I returned to the man, gave him the food, and asked where he was from. Then I tried to explain that the vitamins should only be eaten one per day, and they would be dangerous if more than one was taken each day. I worried that he might not understand this complicated English, so I tried miming, and was feeling very stressed as I repeated, several times, that more than one was dangerous, only eat one a day. I realised I was basically telling him off, and he was looking rather worried by this ranting woman. I wondered whether I should remove the pills, but thought that might turn into a scuffle, given how badly this was going. So I left.

I realised, walking away, that I had not even asked his name. I certainly hadn’t listened to him, or shown him any real respect; I had simply tried to enforce what I thought was good for him, and I had done it badly. This I suspect, is often the problem with trying to help—it becomes interfering, or is not done wisely. This is why I prefer to give to a professional organisation, rather than an individual. I trust Tearfund to feed the poor on my behalf, and not to end up shouting about vitamins being dangerous!

I hope you do better today than me, and may you be spared encounters with stressed middle-aged women! Take care. Thanks for reading.
Love, Anne x

Blessed

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Last week was the wedding blessing. If you follow my blog, you will know that my daughter was married in Scotland a few weeks ago—an incredibly happy day with lots of colour and loud voices and large men in kilts. It was a celebration, and it was marvellous. However, being married is something serious, and when I heard they also wanted to have a service of blessing, in our local church, I was delighted.

The plan was to have a short service, very low-key, attended by just close friends and family. We don’t currently have a vicar at our church, but the previous vicar—who my daughter and her husband have met and liked—kindly agreed to lead the service. I have never attended a wedding blessing before, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. But the vicar met the couple a few times, and talked about what they could do, and advised them on what was appropriate, and together they made a plan for a short service.

I spent the day before cleaning (not easy, as I will explain in another blog) and decorating the house with bunting and bows. I found some strings of flowers on Amazon, and hung them around the front door. My sons arrived, so there were beds to make, and meals to prepare, and time was too short but we got there eventually.

On the afternoon, we all dressed in nice clothes (dressed as if going to a nice restaurant—as instructed by my daughter) and set off in various cars. There was then a brief moment of confusion, as one of my sons realised he didn’t actually know which church he was driving to (!) but we all arrived in time.

My daughter and son-in-law were at the church, welcoming people and smiling and looking happy and not too nervous. My daughter was wearing another white dress (we only had one wedding dress when I was married!) and carried yellow roses, which made me smile. (When she was born, everyone sent me yellow flowers, so I always think of her with yellow flowers, not pink.) The church looked lovely. The flowers for the Sunday service were already there, and they were white as the flower ladies knew we had the blessing. The heating had been switched on, so it was nice and warm, and the verger had lit all the candles. It was very special.

The vicar started the service, my daughter and her husband waited at the back, and the organ started to play. . . The Phantom of the Opera! She had chosen this, to surprise her husband, and as people recognised the music they started to smile, and laugh, and by the time they reached the front, everyone had relaxed and realised this was not going to be ‘a boring church service.’ It was something different.

There was a reading about love from the Bible, and a poem. The vicar spoke about marriage, and advised that it could be tough, and needed commitment, and things like not going to bed angry (Husband kicked me) and remembering to notice the needs of the other person (I kicked Husband) were important. The couple then listened to the marriage vows, and agreed that this is what they had promised to do when they married. Their rings were blessed. They knelt, and were prayed for. The congregation promised to support them. There were  three hymns (songs that people would know from school assemblies, as many of the people there don’t usually attend church).

It lasted about half an hour, and I think it was perfect. The thing is, being married is not always easy. We have been married since 1988, and my husband is my very best friend. But sometimes I feel angry, or lonely, and sometimes we get things wrong. Therefore, asking God to be part of a marriage seems sensible to me. Why wouldn’t you want the extra help to sort things out, when someone needs to be forgiven, or things feel impossible because you haven’t slept for weeks due to a new baby? Marriage should be about love, and joy, and faithfulness, and those things describe who God is, so including him makes sense.

Afterwards, everyone came to the house for tea and cupcakes. We had champagne, and my sons made a speech. (Brothers speaking about their sister was always going to be funny and naughty and affectionate.)

And that’s it—wedding stuff is finished. It has been a special time, a good memory. Life should be about creating good memories.

Thanks for reading, I hope you have a good week. Take care.
Love, Anne x

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An Unexpected Experience

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We were invited to a ‘War of the Worlds’ experience. I had absolutely no idea what this meant—but accepted anyway. Husband, I suspect, had more idea than me, but decided to not share. Last week, we met our friends at the station, and set off for London.

It was difficult to know what to wear, but I decided it was probably something similar to a thing my cousin went to recently, when an orchestra played the tunes from ‘Lord of the Rings’ while images from the film were shown on a giant screen. I certainly thought it would be a passive experience, and as my friend is something of a natty-dresser, I decided to wear nice clothes. (My wardrobe is divided into three: very posh evening wear, expensive ‘nice clothes’ or tatty stuff that a tramp might wear. I usually wear the latter.) This was a mistake; especially the heeled boots.

We walked from London Bridge—the men striding a hundred yards ahead, me stumbling over uneven pavements while my friend kindly walked beside me. We arrived at a building resembling the sort of clubs we went to as students, and went inside. There was a young man (everyone is young these days) looking official, checking tickets. We were given yellow wristbands (also reminiscent of student nightclub) and told to wait for yellow smoke. We were also directed to fill out a waiver form (they hadn’t invented those when I was a student!)

We sat at a table in a sort of bar, with dimmed lights and strange decorations. The waiver form informed me I should be over 16 (√check) wear flat shoes (X failed there) and not be sensitive to light/noise/motion or scary things. I stopped reading at that point, as yellow smoke squirted from a tube in the ceiling (it was disappointing how long it took four of us to decide on smoke colours!) and we joined the line at the door.

We were part of a group of 12, and I was pleased that we were not the only adults. (Adults are people over the age of 45.) We were led through a door and met by a bouncy actor with exaggerated enthusiasm, who explained we were going back in time to when the Martians had landed. She was very good at her job, as she maintained her ‘in character’ persona despite our rather doubtful expressions and complete lack of reciprocation. We were shown virtual-reality headsets, and told how to use them, then led along a dark corridor to a theatre. We took our seats, and I hoped that perhaps this was where the rest of the experience would happen. It didn’t.

The experience continued. There were holograms, and we had to walk along corridors, and through holes, and down steep spiral stairs—which was sometimes a challenge for someone with a dodgy back in heels. However, it was all very professional, and although I never managed to quite believe that Martians had landed and our lives were in peril, I had to admire their enthusiasm. To be honest, I was nervous—but of falling over or someone shouting ‘Boo!’ unexpectedly. There was a lot of ‘dark’ involved. And amazing special effects.

The experience was based on the book/films of ‘War of the Worlds’ and was a series of rooms that showed different aspects of the story. We had done our homework and watched the Tom Cruise film version, so each scene made sense. My favourite part was when we sat in boats, wearing virtual-reality glasses, and we ‘sailed’ through a burning London, looking at the destruction and feeling the waves lift us. It was really well done. I have never experienced such clever technology. The actors and props were brilliant.

I couldn’t take photos during the experience, as cameras were banned, so I can only share pictures taken in the bar area, and the ‘professional’ photo taken at the end. But if you are ever invited to visit the experience, I would certainly recommend it. Just be sure to wear flat shoes.

Thanks for reading.
Have a great week, and be sure to wear the right clothes.
Take care.
Love, Anne x

Nervous Smile…
Embarrassing Picture but a Fun Memento

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The Gathering of the Clan

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Our daughter’s wedding in Troon was beautiful, and I now understand two things:

  1. Why my son-in-law was so keen to have a Scottish wedding (because they are amazing).
  2. Why the Romans decided they would never defeat the Scots and so built a big wall (large young men in kilts are quite a force).


The week before had been lovely, with our ‘clan’ making their way north. It was really lovely that so many people made the journey, and it made the day very special. My sister even came from Canada, and my brother drove the grandparents up from Surrey. I had worried that not many family would come, but they did, and it made a big difference.

The day passed in a blur, so we are now eager to see everyone’s photos—because there is no time to take your own when you are part of the wedding party. I began at 6 am, checking the house we’d rented was clean and tidy, preparing a few last decorations. A Waitrose order arrived at 8, the florist soon after, and by the time the last bridesmaids arrived the house was full of laughter and perfume and young women staring intently into mirrors. I was wearing the ‘Mother of the Bride’ sweatshirt my daughter had given me, and was busy preparing food, and offering drinks, and checking that all was on track.

Time suddenly sped-up, and all of a sudden it was time to pin on flowers and distribute bouquets and check everything we needed was in the car. I had allowed roughly 2 minutes to change myself, which was a mistake, and I spent the journey to the venue checking my dress wasn’t inside-out and trying to stop my hat bouncing on the roof of the car, while distracting my daughter so she didn’t get emotional. We had disco music playing, which was completely inappropriate, but it kept the mood light.

As we arrived at the venue, Donald, the piper, stepped onto the drive. He then led the way, playing his bagpipes. It was rather special (there is lots about a Scottish wedding that is special).

The guests were all seated in rows and we waited in a room at the back, out of sight. My two sons were there, grinning at their sister in her pretty outfit, managing not to make funny comments. I straightened my daughter’s dress, told her she looked beautiful, and then the celebrant was announcing my arrival. I walked down the aisle with my two sons—smiling hello to my brother and sister, hoping my hat didn’t fall off, looking for my name on a seat. The front of the room had flowers, and a glass wall, and a view of the sea.

Music played, and the flower girls walked to the front, holding hands, looking perfect. Then the bridesmaids, one at a time, remembering not to hurry, all young and elegant and matching the flowers. Donald started his bagpipes again, and I knew that Husband and my daughter were coming, but I felt suddenly emotional, and I didn’t want to cry, so I twisted my face into funny shapes (hoping no one captured that in a photo!) and stared forwards.

The ceremony bit was short and interesting. The celebrant was very professional, and told funny stories about the bride and groom. There was the legal vow, and then a hand-tying ceremony, when she threaded silk ties between them, and they pulled, and there was a knot. (I knew the saying, ‘tying the knot’ but hadn’t realised it was a thing.) They also drank from a double-handled cup—another Scottish tradition.

There were photographs outside, and time to chat before the meal. The weather was dry. I will write that again, as it was October, in Scotland—the weather was dry! My hat didn’t behave though.

Not sure that my hat stayed in position for more than 2 minutes!

There were speeches, and people stood for the toasts (like they are supposed to, but rarely seem to any more). Dinner was delicious.

Daughter (and others) changed into clothes suitable for dancing, and the bride and groom cut the cake and did a dance (which was actually very good, and not at all like the dancing I remember from her ballet days when she was ten—no skipping in circles). Then we all joined a Caleigh dance (which did involve skipping in circles).

One of the very best bits was right at the end, when the last dance was announced and everyone made a big circle (not me, because I knew what was coming and there were a lot of slightly drunk, very large young men wearing kilts and a wild look in their eyes). They sang the Loch Lomond song, with arms linked, and then gradually started to move forwards, squashing the bride and groom who were in the middle. They did this a few times, before lifting them on their shoulders, and dancing them round. I checked my daughter wasn’t going to bash her head on the ceiling, and then enjoyed the moment—it was quite something with all those deep male voices, and flashing colours of the kilts, and energy. An exciting end to an exciting day.

Thanks for sharing the day with me.

Take care.
Love, Anne x

The Wedding Plans Continue

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Hello, I hope you’re having a good month. I cannot believe how busy I am, so this will be brief. Apologies—but next week I hope to have wedding photos to show you.

The plans are so far going smoothly, though there is suddenly SO much to do. The wedding is in Glasgow, so at the moment I am worrying about how to pack lots of fragile things, and not crease the bridesmaid dresses, and not crush my hat. We plan to rent a house for the week before the wedding, which means the family will have a base while last-minute jobs happen near the venue, and the bridal party can all prepare there on the morning of the wedding.

Obviously doing all the mummy-stuff is more difficult in a rented house, so I am trying to be very prepared. I don’t know if there will be vases, so I have been to my local Home Bargains and stocked up on silk flowers and pretty containers that I can take with me. I have managed to buy big ribbons on Amazon, so I am hoping there is somewhere in the house I can tie them, and I have balloons for the end of the driveway so everyone knows where to come. Hopefully I can make the house look special.

Food is a challenge, as the wedding is at 2pm, which means bridesmaids will arrive in the morning to get ready, and they will need to eat or they will faint. Thankfully, there is a Waitrose that delivers, so I have ordered fruit and pastries for the morning, and platters of sandwiches and cheeses for midday. To be honest, I got a little carried away when I was ordering, because it’s my daughter’s wedding—and so it’s okay to be extravagant—and they did have a huge variety of very exciting-looking food. Who wouldn’t want ‘fruit kebabs’ or a wedding cake of cheeses or tiny desserts on a tray? (I need to hide the credit card bill, or I will get feedback.)

I am also taking anything I can think of to avert disasters. My mummy-bag is packed with headache pills, plasters for blisters, sweets for energy, mirror to check lipsticks, bottles of water, sewing things with thread in the colours of each outfit, safety pins and—if things go really badly—tipex to cover any stains! We have large umbrellas, and old towels to dry damp bouquets because it is Scotland, so I am assuming we will be running from the car through heavy rain and gale-force wind.

The actual ceremony has all been planned, and we have been told our roles. I enter right before the beginning, accompanied by my sons. Then the music will start, and we hope two very sweet flower girls will walk down the aisle. (I have to admit, I have my doubts about whether this will actually happen, as small sweet flower girls can be very obstinate at weddings, and they might well refuse—but here’s hoping.) Then the bridesmaids will enter, and then Husband will accompany our daughter, while a piper (Donald) plays bagpipes. I expect I shall be crying by this point (tissues are in the bag, and powder to cover red nose). All the men in the wedding party will be wearing kilts, but as the groom’s father is wearing a suit, so will Husband. He has a tie and hankie to match the bridesmaids.

I had assumed, in my ignorance, that all the groomsmen would wear the same tartan. But this is not a thing. Apparently, getting your first kilt is an occasion (like being fitted for your first suit used to be in England). Young men will get a kilt—perhaps for a special birthday—complete with all the right shoes/socks/garters/jackets. The outfit is expensive, so they want to wear it for special occasions, like weddings. Obviously, each person has a different tartan (either their clan or the pattern they like) therefore at a wedding, each groomsman will be wearing a different tartan to the others. My sons are hiring their outfits, and they were asked to not choose the same tartan, as otherwise they would be the only matching pair. I’m not sure whether the jackets will all be the same—you will have to wait for the photos.

I need to go and start packing now. Thanks for reading, have a great week.
Take care.
Love, Anne x

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PS. I always write blogs in advance, so this was written last week. I am waiting for the official photos, but I have a few snaps. Next week I will tell you how it went—and have better pictures.

Ax

Mother-of-the Bride

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As you know, in a few weeks’ time, we have the wedding of my daughter. This is very exciting, but has had some unexpected moments. My role is fairly minimal, as my daughter and her fiancé are fully grown-up and independent, and have therefore planned everything themselves. This seems to be fairly common now, as a quick online search for ‘Mother of the Bride’ (MoB) shows most articles are aimed at the bride, warning her not to allow her mother to deter her from the things she wants at her wedding, to give her mother a task or two so she feels involved, and to check that the MoB’s outfit is not white and does not match the bridesmaids!

I am hoping I have supported rather than interfered (let’s not ask my daughter—just in case!) The main task I have been given is to make cupcakes for the blessing, which I am really enjoying. If I have time, I will share the recipe with you in a blog (it’s an excellent recipe, and they freeze really well, which takes away all the pressure).

The time aspect has been challenging, as I am also writing my dissertation and altering the bridesmaid dresses, and all this would have been fun IF Husband (who we love) had not decided that now would be an excellent time to have the whole of the inside of the house decorated. I have everything in the wrong rooms, and am constantly wiping paint dust off every surface, and I am thoroughly grumpy about the whole thing. But we will survive, and the house will look smart when people come after the blessing.

As you will know from other blogs, clothes are not my thing, so the outfit has been a challenge for me. When my sister was here, we bought hats, which was fun. I do already have a very nice hat, but when I wore it for my nephew’s wedding recently, it kept falling down—either it has got bigger or my head has shrunk (is that even possible?) I now have a new one, which matches my coat—one of those ‘fascinator-not-a-real-hat’ things with feathers. I expect I shall sit on it or it will slip off, but I shall do my best. I feel a hat defines the mother of the bride, so it matters. According to the internet, the MoB is the ‘lead hat lady’ and everyone else is supposed to remove their hat when I do (and not before). I doubt if anyone else will know that little gem of etiquette, but just in case, I shall try to wear mine for as long as possible, otherwise someone might feel obligated to remove their own creation before they’ve had their money’s-worth.

Definitely too big — I would bump into things!

 I ordered one outfit online, which looked very pale when it arrived and we worried it might look white in the photos (see comment above) so that was rejected. I now have an outfit that I am very pleased with, and it has long sleeves because November can be cold (and no one my age is in love with how their upper arms look—except maybe Madonna). It’s also tight, so I bought a looser dress when my sister was here, in case I am too fat on the day. (I never know what my stomach will do!) However, when I tried it on this week, it is massive, so I think I must have eaten more scones than I realised when my sister stayed here. As there will be dancing afterwards, it will be comfortable for that, and I have a pretty cardigan (to hide fat upper arms) though I am not entirely sure whether cardigans are suitable attire for a wedding, so I won’t ask in advance.

I will let you know more details as the plans unfold—and of course I shall show you photos afterwards. I hope you have something exciting to look forward to too. Thanks for reading, Take care.
Love, Anne x

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