After my run, I collect Meg and her ball, and go into the lounge (which is carpeted, and out of bounds for Meg). She follows me, and I place the ball on the floor next to her, and tell her: ‘Leave!’ Meg stares at the ball, occasionally placing a paw onto the carpet—which I remind her is not allowed. I then do some floor exercises—press-ups and stretches and stuff—while Meg stares at the ball. Even if someone comes to the door, or walks through the hallway, Meg ignores everything except her ball.
After a few minutes, I praise Meg, throw the ball, continue with the exercises. Meg races down the hall after the ball, brings it back and chews it next to me. After a while (when she has asserted her claim on the ball) she will place it in my hand, ready to repeat.
Today, when I threw the ball, Meg chased after it, then returned without it. She stood in the hall, staring at me. No ball. Something was wrong. I told her to go and fetch the ball.
Meg disappeared for a few minutes. She returned with half the ball. It is made by Kong—and very strong, but it has a separate section in the middle, and over time her chewing means that it has come apart. Meg was very worried by this. She put the half-ball down in front of me and stared, asking what she should do next.
I took the half-ball, and told her to fetch the rest. Meg charged off, and returned with the thin strip that had fallen off the ball. She was obviously very worried by this. I tried to mend it, but it kept falling apart. I shall have to buy a replacement.
***
When we went to the woods today, Meg chased a deer. It happened while we were walking along a narrow footpath, and I was having a rest from sticks and just walking, so Meg had nothing to focus on. She spotted the deer before I did, and was gone in a flash.
I could hear them, crashing through the undergrowth (that would be Meg, she is like a tank when she runs). Then nothing. No sound, no sight, both dog and deer disappeared.
I remember that with Kia, calling her made no difference—if she chased a deer it was a waste of breath. I also think (based on no evidence at all) that if a dog can hear you calling in the distance, it does not make them return but it does give them the confidence to keep running, because they know where the rest of the pack is, so they can leave them there until they have finished chasing the deer. I therefore waited, without making a sound, until I heard the crashing of Meg returning. I quickly turned away, and began to walk off, as if I had not noticed she was missing, and was certainly not waiting for her, and if she got lost, that was her concern. My hope (again, based on no evidence at all) is that if Meg knows I will not wait for her, or even care that she is gone, then perhaps it will stop her running too far. The responsibility to stay ‘with the pack’ belongs with her. I have absolutely no idea whether this makes any difference. Nor do I know what I will do in the event that Meg does not return (because actually, I will care very much). But most of my training of Meg is based on compromise and chances, so hopefully that will never happen.
Hope you make some good compromises this week. Thanks for reading. Take care. Love, Anne x
Meg was ill. She started being sick during the night, and was still being ill in the morning.
It’s always very difficult when a dog (or very young child) is ill, because you have to make a decision on their behalf as to how serious it is. I am not a great one for rushing to the doctor/vet whenever someone is ill, because I think usually people/animals get well by themselves. Going to the doctor/vet is just a big hassle (when you’re already stressed after clearing up unexpected mess) plus it means the ill child/dog has to be transported (not always easy when trying to contain mess) plus it mainly introduces them to a whole lot of new germs when their immunity is already low (because it is mostly other germy people/dogs in the waiting rooms). Plus with the vet, there is the lovely addition of the cost.
We do not have pet insurance for Meg. We decided with our other dogs to ‘self-insure,’ noticing that when they were younger they rarely needed medical attention and it was cheaper to pay ourselves than to pay the premium, and when they get old, the premium rises to being very expensive. The pet insurance companies are not running a charity, and we decided the risks were in our favour. Obviously, this is a personal decision, and we are aware that if something unexpected happened, we might have to pay an extremely expensive bill or six. But Kia lived to 16 years old, and even with a whopping bill for a twisted stomach surgery, we still think we saved money.
Vet bills and insurance is difficult for me. I worry that due to the ease of ‘not really paying’ at the time, people allow vets to undertake evermore complex (and costly) treatments, and I don’t know whether the animal is always better off. It can be hard to let go, but I do think that for an animal—who does not understand the pain or what is happening, sometimes that is the kinder option. I fully understand how difficult the decision can be, I think we lose a little bit of our heart with every animal we lose, and I still mourn my other dogs. But sometimes, when a treatment is difficult and lengthy and the odds of it working are slim or the animal will never be pain-free afterwards, I question whether it is the kindest option. Plus, I think not using insurance keeps things real. I have a problem with balancing priorities with money—there will never be enough in the world, and I know that there are currently people suffering due to lack of resources—is a pet’s life worth more than a child’s? This is an issue for me, and not one that I solve logically. I do spend a lot of money on keeping my pets fed and healthy, and I do give a relatively small amount of money (in regards to how much I keep for myself) to aid agencies. But when there is a huge vet’s bill, if I am paying myself and not just signing a form for the insurance people, it makes me stop, and think, and evaluate. I ask myself whether this huge amount of money is best spent on my pet, and whether I can justify it in the big picture. As I said, it is not logical, and I do not question every coffee I buy in a cafe, or every random pair of shoes that I buy, but I do think that occasionally it is good to have ‘stops’ in our brain, something to make us pause and consider what we should be spending our money on.
But none of these issues were at stake here, Meg was vomiting, and I needed to decide what to do. I tried to think about what she might have eaten, and I realised that we do have poisonous plants in the garden, and although she has never touched them, maybe she did. Or she might have picked up a germ from another dog. Or she may have eaten something that has made her sick but is not dangerous. As I said, it’s the same with a small child—you have to decide whether this is something serious that needs fast medical attention, or something that will get better on its own. I tend to have a general rule that if the patient is basically well in themselves (not too lethargic/listless) and if they are drinking water, they will probably be okay to leave for a day.[1] Then they will either be better or worse, which makes the decision easier. Meg seemed fine in herself, maybe slightly less bouncy, but still keen to come in the garden, and she was drinking water. (Also, she was only being sick, her bowels seemed to be okay, so she wasn’t losing vast amounts of liquid.) I decided to wait and watch (and clean the kitchen floor). After a morning, she seemed completely fine. When she was well the next day, I decided she was better, and stopped worrying. I still have no idea whether she ate something bad, or caught a germ. But my kitchen floor is very clean.
Hope your kitchen floor is clean for a better reason. Thanks for reading. Take care. Love, Anne x
[1] It should be noted that there are certain conditions which do not fit into this rule, and they need to be learnt separately. For example, any of the meningitis signs on a child would get instant attention. In a dog, I know that a twisted stomach does not initially bother them, but they need fast attention: look out for ‘egg-white’ type vomit, when they are not managing to bring up anything from their stomach, and general signs of discomfort or distended tummy. Kia was sick shortly after eating, but none of the food was in her vomit, which was a big sign that something was wrong, but she seemed fine and was excited to be ‘going for a walk’ when we took her to the vet. We managed to get her to a vet in time for them to operate, and she lived for several more years, and she did run along the beach again. (My one question: If we put her through this surgery, will she ever run along the beach again?)
We had another Bank Holiday weekend, and this one had nothing planned so we chilled at home. On the Sunday I was feeling lazy, and the view from upstairs showed the field next to the house was freshly mown, with no animals, and the sun was shining—so we thought, why not walk Meg there for a change? What could possibly go wrong?
Of course, lots could go wrong before we even left the driveway, so I was careful to ensure that Husband was happy to hold the lead the entire way—so if a car passed us Meg wouldn’t break my arm in her quest to chase it. Husband decided to also bring the extending lead, which I have now deemed as too dangerous given the speed that Meg reaches before the lock clicks in, and I am pulled after her at 45 mph. But he was convinced it would be fine, and off we set.
There is a large oak tree in the corner of the field, so when we passed I collected lots of fallen sticks, and Husband and Meg collected the largest logs they could carry, and off we went. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, Meg was happily walking round the field with us, chasing sticks. At one point a car went down the lane, and Meg raced the length of the field trying to catch it, but she was safely behind the hedge, so I viewed it as good exercise.
But then it all went wrong (of course it did!) Husband threw his log, which bounced, and Meg zoomed after it, and as she caught it, she yelped. I wasn’t sure what had happened, and she looked unhurt as she ran back to us. But then I realised she had blood dripping from her mouth. I called her to me, and made her sit, and opened her mouth (she’s very good at letting me poke my fingers in her mouth, and the only times she has ever bitten me is when she’s snatching at a stick). But she wouldn’t let me look properly, so we took her home, trailing drips of blood behind us.
At home, I put some cider vinegar into her water bowl as a way to try and clean whatever was cut, but Meg sniffed it and walked to her bed, refusing to drink. We checked her a few times, and I decided that if she was no better the following day we would take her to the vet. In my experience, animals have a very fast metabolism, and most times (unless there is something obvious, like a cut or a splinter) they get better on their own.
Meg didn’t eat anything that night, but the next morning I wet her dried food so it was soft, and she ate it all. I tried to look in her mouth, but all I could see was that under her tongue was swollen. She didn’t let me move her tongue to see if there was a splinter. I decided to wait another couple of days, because I couldn’t see that the vet would be able to do anything without a general anaesthetic and I am unkeen to allow those unless strictly necessary. Gradually, Meg improved, she stopped being subdued (that didn’t last more than a few hours) and began to use her mouth normally.
***
On the Monday, we decided to walk to the pub for lunch, and as it was nice having Meg in the field for a change, we decided to take her. We last took her to the pub about a year ago, and she was very annoying, so I was hoping for an improvement.
Walking to the pub was mostly okay. We could do most of it in fields. Meg clearly remembered the route, even after all this time, and was often in the lead. We had to cross a stile, and Meg remembered where it was, and squeezed through the central gap without a problem. A few cars passed us on the lane, and Meg was terrible, and leapt at them—but we knew that she would, and Husband had her on a tight lead, and no one was injured.
In the pub I tied Meg to a wall, and pulled a ball from my pocket. At home she will concentrate on a ball for a long time, waiting until she is allowed to have it. It worked less well in the pub. Initially she lay down, with her paws either side, and her head above the ball—not touching (which was not allowed) but only millimetres away. When she thought I wasn’t looking, she nudged it forward. I then tried giving her the ball, thinking that the treat of being allowed the ball might keep her quiet for a while. But Meg wanted me to throw it, and when I didn’t, she did. She was fairly near some steps, and she managed to toss the ball towards them, and then lurched forward to get it, nearly pulling the hook out of the wall she was attached to. At one point a woman passed, and Meg barked her ‘big dog’ bark and I realised the woman was carrying a small dog. Everyone in the pub jumped, and then stared. I apologised, tried to get her to refocus on the ball. It was not a relaxing lunch. However, it was not completely terrible, so I might try it again.
The walk home was relaxed. Meg ran free most of the time, and we ignored her and enjoyed being in the sunshine. I love to watch her run around, and she probably made the walk more fun (if you don’t include the lurching at cars thing—I certainly could never take her on my own). It takes us about an hour to walk to the pub, and when I leave Meg at home, I then have to take her for a walk, so it’s much easier if she comes with us. We decided that taking Meg with us made it less relaxing, but it was not a complete failure. In Meg-world, that’s about as good as it gets.
I hope you have something relaxing this week. Thanks for reading. Take care. Love, Anne x
We went to New York (this is January, before the tariffs), Meg went to kennels. She was happy enough to walk in, and greeted the staff like long-lost relatives, so I don’t feel guilty leaving her there. They take her for a walk each day, and she walks around the woods carrying logs (though she’s on a lead, so no chasing sticks).
However, when we collected her this time, they said she is aggressive towards other dogs, and lurches towards them when walking—though is fine when next to them in the kennel. This is a bit like when we drive—every dog we pass Meg barks at (it doesn’t make for peaceful journeys). I’m not sure what to do about it really, as she is fine when she’s with me in the woods.
Actually, she is brilliant in the woods. I forgot to take the lead yesterday, and I didn’t need it. I held a stick when I opened the boot, and Meg waited next to the car, watching to see where I would direct her. Other dog-owners were returning to the car park, and cars were whizzing along the main road, but Meg ignored them all. We had a lovely walk through the woods, I threw sticks, and called her when she got too far away, and she was completely obedient. We passed several other dogs, crossing paths with them, but whether they barked at her or not, Meg completely ignored them. Great. At the end of the walk I called her to heel, and we returned to the car (still no lead). I opened the boot, told Meg to jump in, and …nothing.
This has become a feature. When we return to the car, whether after a quick trip to the supermarket or a long walk round the woods, Meg refuses to get back into the car. She stands there, and looks at me. In her favour, she does not chase other cars or dogs, she just stands there, quietly waiting for me to take her for a longer walk. And I stand there, quietly waiting for her to jump into the car. Sometimes we stand there for a full 5 minutes, staring at each other, fully understanding what is being expected, refusing to give in. I usually break first, and practically choke her by trying to haul her into the boot. At which point she jumps nimbly in, giving me a withering ‘you have no patience’ look. Which is correct, I do not.
I’m not sure whether this counts as obedient or bad. She knows what I want, and doesn’t run away—but nor does she obey and get into the car. When I’m in a rush, it’s infuriating. I have started keeping dried fish treats in the car, as a bribe. The only change is that my car now stinks for fish, Meg still won’t get in.
Always carries the biggest stick she can find!These were too big, but she tried.
14/2/2025
Meg has been fun this week. She is now fairly reliable when left alone in a room, and usually settles down near a radiator and snoozes. Only fairly reliable, as she did empty a plant all over the kitchen floor—so I wouldn’t leave her alone for too long, but gradually I am trusting her more.
I still cannot let her interact with my other animals though. I doubt she would hurt them on purpose, but she would definitely chase them, and might bounce them, which would be the equivalent to a truck landing on your head. When I’m sorting out the poultry, Meg rushes around, barking and trying to chase them through the side of the fence, which they find very upsetting. I realise I ought to spend time training her –taking her to the coop several times a day, and training her to sit or fetch her ball, thus teaching her to ignore the birds. But life is too busy, and it’s easier for now to just leave her in the kitchen whenever I need to be with the birds. Not ideal, but it works for now.
My other failure is chasing cars in the lane next to the garden. Whenever a car goes up the farm track, Meg charges at full speed along the fence line, trying to keep up with it. It’s good exercise I suppose, but it’s also reinforcing the drive to chase cars, which I really want to break her of—but I cannot be in the garden with her all the time, and there is no other way to stop her. I am telling myself (fully aware that I am probably lying to myself) that she can chase cars in the garden but can learn not to chase cars in other situations. I think this is untrue, but other solutions seem too difficult at this point. Maybe she will grow out of it.
When I return from my morning run, I usually spend some time training Meg. This is very simple—I lie on the lounge floor (where she is not allowed) doing my exercises, and Meg sits in the doorway. I have a ball, which she is not allowed to touch, and every few minutes I throw it, she retrieves it, I take it from her, put it on the floor and tell her to ‘leave!’ and then we start the whole exercise again. Today, Husband was working in the study, and I wasn’t sure throwing the ball up and down the hall would be quiet enough, so I decided to do my exercises on the landing carpet. Disaster! We went upstairs, Meg sat on the mat next to the radiator (her favourite place) I lay down on the floor and whump! A very happy German Shepherd dog landed on top of me! She was so excited, bouncing on me and licking my face, her tail smashing into anything in range as it swung backwards and forwards like a mad propeller. I couldn’t get her off me for ages, she is so strong, and was so excited that I was joining her on the carpet. I’m not quite sure what game she thought we were playing, but it clearly made her very happy. By the time I managed to stagger to my feet, I decided the wrestling match had been more than enough exercise for one day, so I went for a shower.
One afternoon this week, I was very tired but wanted to listen to an online lecture. So I took my phone to bed, and nestled into the pillows, ready for a sleepy listen. Meg followed me into the bedroom (where she is not allowed, but this happens more often than I like to admit) and lay down on the mat. She must have been tired too, because she started to snore. Then the lecture started, and I turned up the volume on my phone. Meg stopped snoring, and groaned. I ignored her. She groaned again. I ignored her. Then her head appeared alongside mine on the bed, and she stared at me, very pointedly, and groaned again. Clearly she was not appreciating the lecture on apologetics. She had a look in her eye that told me that if the noise didn’t stop, she might jump up onto the bed. Not to be encouraged. I took her downstairs, and listened to the lecture in a different room.
Usually when I work, Meg is very good. She lies on the carpet behind me, snoring and farting, with the occasional groan if I work for too long. It’s good (if smelly) company.
I hope you have some good (not smelly) company this week. Thanks for reading. Take care. Love, Anne x
I have started to take Meg with me wherever I go (that allows dogs). We have walked round the market (stressful) the garden centre (surprisingly good) and the Four Elms shop (excellent behaviour once through the scary sliding doors!) I also take her, when appropriate, when I go out for coffee—I carry a chew and an old towel for her to lie on (not that she does lie on the towel, but it shows willing). She has been to Mum’s a couple of times—the first time was a nightmare and I spent the entire time stopping her eating the carpet/rug/draught-excluder/flower arrangement. The second time was better, and we had a nice chat (me and Mum, not me and Meg) while she (Meg, not Mum) chewed her chew. She does have the snake draught-excluder on her hit list though, and looks for it whenever we visit.
Always fully alert and ready to bounce.
Today we took her for coffee in The Garden Coffee Shop (Four Elms). We walked in, and Meg jumped up to look out of the window, put her paws on a seat, tried to join other customers at their table. Not too professional. We got her into a corner, and she settled down with her chew. Every time new customers entered, she stood up and barked at them (not sure why, no one else had a dog). Then gradually she relaxed, and we had some time to actually drink coffee and chat. After about 30 minutes she grew restless again, so we paid and left. I’m hoping that over time, this will be relaxing for all of us. At the moment, it’s a work in progress.
While the main road near the house is closed (and there is less traffic passing) I am walking Meg to the nearby stream each day. She is still super reactive if a car passes, but we only have a short stretch next to the road, and once in the field she is fine. I have no idea what will happen when she sees a deer, but I don’t think she can run to any roads even if she chases it. The good thing about the walk is that she has to wait at the gate when we leave, so it’s easy to put her back on the lead. She has become very naughty at being caught when it’s time to go home, so I can only take her to places with a barrier that stops her.
7 Months I talked to ‘dog-trainer-Sue’ about taking Meg on a train. She advised me not to take her to a station initially, as it would just scare her, and to practice things like going through sliding doors, and walking through the underpass tunnel in Oxted. We practice the sliding doors at the garden centre, and Meg is completely fine with them now. But trying to go through the underpass had the same reaction as the tunnel in Instow—full brakes, and not persuadable! We have walked up and down the ramp a few times, but I’ll need Husband to help me get her through the underpass
We went to Cambridge, and took Meg. I took her on a long walk first, so she didn’t need physical exercise. We shoved her into her crate in the boot, and drove (2 hours) to Cambridge. I then walked her for 10 minutes, just to loosen up her joints, and offered her a drink (which she didn’t want). Then back into the crate while we looked around a prospective house to buy, and then drove home. She was great, and I think she just slept or chewed her chew. (I keep the chew for ‘special’ occasions, like when we’re out and I need her to be confined.) Though she did stand up and bark on the QE2 bridge! I don’t think she likes heights. When we got home it was evening, and I worried she might be full of energy, but she seemed tired, and was happy to go to bed. I guess she must have been alert and watching during the afternoon.
Today we took her to the pub. It’s a 45 minute walk, which is slightly long, but I’m hoping it won’t hurt occasionally. She was terrible whenever a car passed us, but we can cope with terrible now. In the pub she settled under the table with her chew, and was completely engrossed unless someone approached the table—when she barked at them. I think she was worried they might steal her chew. It wasn’t as relaxing as when we leave her at home, but I’m hoping that things like this will become routine. It’s easier to occupy Meg if she joins me for my activities rather than having to do things exclusively for her. After a quick lunch, we walked back home. I was tired, she was still bouncing. Such is life.
Thanks for reading. I hope you have things sorted this week. Take care. Love, Anne x
20/2/2024 Today was a complete nightmare with Meg. Whatever I tried to do, she tried to disrupt. She kept jumping at me, pushing through doors ahead of me, chewed bits of furniture and barked at the chickens whenever I took her in the garden. To make it worse, it’s still rainy, so every time we went outside, we brought lots of wet mud back inside with us. There is a limit to how many times I can wipe the floor.
I did attempt to do some lead-training. Several times in fact. Each time, Meg tried to bite the lead as I put it on, then kept biting it while I tried to walk. If we went outside, she lurched towards everything. Standing still does not work (I have been advised that whenever she pulls, I should simply remain completely still, until she notices and stops). Meg is constantly interested in absolutely everything.
So, we manage to walk 2 steps together, she then lurches towards the gate because she heard a car in the lane. I stand still. Meg continues to pull towards the gate for several minutes, then notices I am not moving. Does she return to me, ready to walk obediently by my side? Like heck she does! No, she then decides a leaf is the next great excitement in the world, so lurches towards that instead. Then she spies a twig on the ground, lurches for it and grabs it before I can stop her. Small interval while I try to remove the twig she is hurriedly chewing and swallowing. I try to make her sit, she spins in circles, spots a stone, heaves us both towards it. I give up, and none too gently return her to her crate in the kitchen. An hour later, when the urge to throttle her has subsided, we try again. Re-read from the start of the paragraph. This lasted all day.
In the evening we were scheduled to go to puppy classes (the nice friendly one in the horse barn). I was so frazzled, so near tears, I messaged to say I didn’t have enough patience to attend and be dragged around the barn by my dog. I received lots of nice messages in reply, and the excellent advice from the teacher to have a glass of wine. This helped.
After days like this, I feel complete despair, and wonder if I will ever be able to walk with Meg, and whether she would be happier in a different home. I hate failing, and I like to think that I am rather gifted with animals. But Meg defeats me, and I am aware that lots of things I have done has made her behaviour worse. I think that expecting a working GSD to be a pet was a mistake, and if I could go back in time, I would choose a regular GSD. But I didn’t, so now I must decide what to do. What is best for all of us?
If nothing else, Meg is good for my prayer life. Praying is pretty much all I can do sometimes, because she seems determined to not be trained. I am aware that I need to keep all this in proportion too—no one has died, no one has been diagnosed with cancer or lost their job or home. It’s just a puppy, being difficult.
21/2/2024
Today it was like living with a different puppy. I will write it down quickly, before she turns back into a demon! From when I first let her out of the cage, Meg was lovely. She came for a snuggle (didn’t jump up) and then followed me round the kitchen while I made coffee.
When I was dressed, I drove her back down to the park. Although the police-dog-trainer said I was making her worse by doing this, I found her behaviour was better, and she was definitely less sensitive to cars, so I decided to ignore him (mostly). I did choose a seat further from the road, just in case the proximity was too confrontational, and I did fasten her lead to the seat because she is now too strong for me if she decides to take off. But we sat there, in the pouring rain, and I fed her breakfast to her. She sat, looking at me, while she was fed, and cars whizzed past a few hundred yards away, and people walked past us, and she ignored them all. Mostly. (We nearly had one nasty incident with a woman in a smart white coat who wanted to stroke her, but I managed to warn about bouncing muddy paws in time.) It was very wet, and Meg was more bothered by the rain than eating breakfast, so we walked back to the car, through the car park, which involved avoiding a few people and not chasing a couple of cars, and it was okay. Every time Meg pulled, I either stopped, or walked in a different direction, and she sort of went along with it. (This is the level of discipline I manage to achieve.)
I then drove to an area of common, where there are several miles of woodland. I used to walk Kia here, and I have avoided it because the car park is near a busy road, but I decided to risk it, planning to put her straight back in the car if she started to lurch towards cars. It was fine. The road is far enough away, so a few squeaks on a toy kept her attention with me, and we walked into the woods. The woods are riddled with footpaths, and it’s very easy to get lost (I once walked for two hours longer than planned after getting lost with a friend and her dog). I was careful to stay on the main footpaths, and only to turn left. I still managed to almost lose my way, but realised in time and we arrived back at the car after about 40 minutes. I kept Meg on a long lead, stopping if she pulled hard. Apart from pulling towards other dogs a couple of times, she was great, and we had a lovely walk. Returned home covered in mud.
Trying to smile whilst struggling with crazy puppy…
Later, taking a break from work, I gave her a ball while I had a cup of tea. I sat at the table because I couldn’t face her leaping on me in a low chair, and she snuggled up against my legs. I became aware she was trying to put the ball on my knee, so I extended a hand below the table and a rather spitty damp ball was shoved into it. I rolled it across the kitchen floor, she leapt after it, and brought it back. What a sweet puppy! In another break, I tried upturning two dog bowls, and hiding food under one. I made Meg sit, then shuffled the bowls and asked her to choose one. She sniffed both, leapt on the one with food and chased it round trying to tip it over. I then halved the amount of food, and tried again. She is able to find the smallest crumb of food under a bowl. Then (after maybe 5 times) she started to leap on me, so we ended the game and I went back to work.
I will let you know how training Meg progresses. It’s certainly not boring! I hope you have stamina for the things you’re struggling with in life. Thanks for reading. Take care. Love, Anne x
Yesterday we went to see the man who trained police dog handlers, and now helps people like me. It was an interesting experience. We arrived in a quiet country lane, and he asked me to walk Meg up and down so he could watch what we had done. I prayed that a car wouldn’t pass (and kill us both as she lurched towards it) and set off, feeling nervous. I had fresh turkey in my pocket, and made sure that Meg knew it was there. As we walked, I praised her while she was walking with me, as I’ve been instructed to do, and fed her snippets of turkey. When she pulled, I told her no, telling her: ‘With me!’ (the words I use to keep her on track). We turned after a few metres and returned to the man.
I could see in his eyes that I hadn’t done well, so smiled and asked him to tell me what I needed to change. (Husband told me that while I was walking, the trainer and his partner had watched, making comments about how lovely Meg is, and how like one of their previous dogs, and what a great animal she was. I didn’t know this until afterwards.)
The trainer said I was completely muddling Meg, and she wanted to please me but she didn’t have the first clue what I wanted! He said the constant praise/feeding while we walked made me a food-machine, not a leader, and she didn’t associate the praise with walking well, nor the corrections with pulling. He said I was producing white-noise, and all Meg knew was that when we walk, I talk a lot!
He asked why Meg was wearing a collar and a harness, with the lead attached to both. I explained that she’s too strong for me, and it enables me to control her with both arms. I didn’t say it was what I had been instructed to use at puppy classes, because I didn’t want to waste the lesson with a long diatribe against other trainers. He asked permission to switch the harness for a slip-lead.
A slip-lead is a canvas lead, with a ring, that slips easily both ways making a noose that tightens and releases. I explained that Meg currently has a lovely disposition, and I didn’t want to use pain as a training method in case it encouraged aggressive behaviour. He explained that he also would never use pain, that the fashion in the 80’s of using electric-shock collars, and choker-chains was terrible, and he considered them wrong. He actively disliked owners who train with pain. However, he said a slip-lead was a brief corrective discomfort that released as soon as the dog was in position, and it let her know where to walk. He then showed me.
The trainer took Meg, and walked down the lane. He didn’t speak. Meg walked quietly next to him, and I wondered whether he had hypnotised her. Then she got antsy, and jumped at him. The trainer didn’t react, he waited, completely still, until she was calm, then walked again, and Meg walked with him. A couple of times she started to pull, and he gave a brief tug, Meg self-corrected and the walk continued. They walked calmly down the lane and back again. For the first time, I witnessed Meg being the dog I wanted and the feeling of relief and hope was palpable. Husband and I stared at each other, and laughed. How was this even possible?
The trainer returned, and explained that he hadn’t talked at Meg, because she’s a dog, and dogs don’t talk when they walk together. Nor do they like being touched when outside, and by offering physical affection, I was forcing her to cope with an unnatural behaviour. He also pointed out that after being corrected, Meg had shaken (like she was wet) and he said that was her ‘resetting’ herself, ready to walk how he wanted. He assured me that Meg is a ‘classy bit of kit’ and I just need to learn how to handle her.
The lesson then moved to a small field. He told me to release Meg, which made me very nervous (there was a horse in the next field, and I didn’t know how close the road came). He assured me that Meg is a pack animal, she would be fine, I simply need to behave like the alpha-dog in the pack. We walked away from Meg, and she followed, never going too far. I was taught how to call her, moving my hands to in front of me when she arrived, and then feeding her treats while she sat. I then decide when the sitting would end (not her) by touching her face and ‘walking through her’ when it was time to move. I should not tell her to ‘wait’, instead she must learn that when told to sit, she stays in position until released. She did this for him (recognised his authority) but not for me (recognised I am flakey).
He explained a few facts about working GSD, and why I have been having such problems, and how to solve them. While he spoke Meg went and barked at the horse, and then came and dug a hole at our feet. He said to ignore her, it didn’t matter, and periodically we moved across the field, never calling her, knowing that she would follow because she wanted to be with the pack.
In a nutshell (you can decide for yourself whether you agree) this is what he said:
Working GSD (and I suspect other ‘working’ breeds) are closer to natural animals than pets, and should be treated accordingly. Therefore it’s important to understand something about how packs of dogs function, and to communicate in ways they understand. Chatting to Meg is apparently wrong (I have always chatted to my dogs, I feel it’s important they know I’m going to the shop!) as this becomes ‘white noise’ so they get used to tuning me out. (Pretty sure husbands do this too.) All eye-contact and greetings and petting should convey the message that I am the alpha dog, and not Meg. So in the morning, she should return to her crate after toileting, and then I should ignore her until I am ready to ‘notice’ her and fuss her. Having alone-time is important, as it will encourage her to want to please me when she’s with me.
He commented that lots of people my age struggle with a new puppy, because it’s much harder to behave like a pack animal when there aren’t children in the house! When Kia was a puppy, 17 years ago, I had children who needed taking to school and clubs, and I was working part-time, my life was generally busier; so the puppy had to fit in. She didn’t have as much attention, she was used to me giving a command: ‘Everyone get in the car!’ and the whole pack obeyed—so being part of that was natural. I didn’t have to assert my authority, because when I shouted that it was dinner time, or we should leave, or it was time for school, the puppy watched the whole pack respond. However, Meg has become the centre of my world, I plan my day around her exercise and training, and she has responded accordingly. She has learnt some ‘tricks’ but does not expect to change her behaviour. This needs to stop. It’s not simply a matter of training her to walk on the lead, I need to be the boss.
He gave me some homework. When Meg behaves badly (biting the lead, jumping at me, pulling) I should simply stop, stand still, avoid eye-contact and ignore her. When she stops, and looks at me, I then resume what I am doing—she has to learn she is not important. If she’s being completely stupid, and won’t stop tugging at the lead or jumping, then I stop trying to train her, and put her back into the crate. I do not allow any behaviour I do not want, because repeating things makes them normal.
I have to stop putting her into situations where she will fail (like the park, or near traffic) and teach her to walk on the lead. When she can reliably walk on the lead properly, I then introduce different situations that I want her to ignore. So, when she can walk on the lead in the garden, we then walk on the lead in an empty car park. And then in a quiet road. And then in the park, and then the High Street, and so on.
I need to do the same with her recall (so when I shout ‘Come!’ she comes, immediately, and sits in front of me until I release her). I can work on her ability to wait, by gradually increasing the amount of time I leave her—from literally 2 seconds (so not even turning properly away) to being able to walk out of the room and come back 10 minutes later. Again, first somewhere boring, then when she has solidly learnt it, repeating the same behaviour somewhere more difficult. He made it look and sound very easy. We left feeling very positive, and full of hope. I am prepared to work at this, but I need to know I will eventually succeed, and for the first time I began to feel less depressed about the whole situation.
Hope all is going well in your world. Thanks for reading. Take care. Love, Anne x
Having a puppy is a lot like having a new baby. One similarity is that the whole world has an opinion about how you should be raising them. Complete strangers will give their views. Another similarity is that all the ‘expert’ advice tends to contradict. For example, I need to find a way to stop Meg fixating on passing cars and lurching at them when they pass. It’s dangerous. I looked online for help. One ‘expert teacher’ said that the prey-instinct is very strong in some dogs, therefore I should discourage all chasing. No chasing cats, sticks, balls, toys. Eventually, I will supress the instinct. Great. Sorted. Except, a different ‘expert’ told me that because I want to stop her chasing cars, I need to encourage the prey-instinct in other areas—so lots of games with balls, sticks, toys. (Though not cats; chasing cats is always wrong.)
I think it’s important to do what I did when I had babies: choose one or two people to trust, and follow their advice but ignore everyone else. I suspect different things work for different dogs, but the advice-givers are so certain they are correct. It undermines my confidence (just like when I had a new baby).
I therefore decided to trust myself (which is important, because I have raised/trained two wonderful dogs previously, plus taught a myriad of naughty boys with ADHD, which is not so very different). I also messaged the woman who is raising Meg’s sister as a pet, and listened to her advice, plus a couple of trusted people. I have also enrolled in ‘puppy classes’ but this is mainly to socialise Meg, because I know from past experience that dog trainers also offer varying advice.
One thing I started to try this week, was regular walking near a busy road where Meg can be slightly removed from the traffic. In our country lane, every passing car comes very close to pedestrians, which must seem like a taunt to a shepherding dog. My plan is for her to get so used to traffic at a distance, that she will gradually cope as they become nearer. I also stopped trying to bribe her good behaviour with food, because it doesn’t work, and the woman raising her sister said a tug-toy works really well as a training bribe. Off we set.
I parked at a little station car park (near enough that Meg didn’t vomit in the car—another issue I need to solve). We set off, walking round the residential streets, near a main road but not on it. Meg was great, glancing at cars on the main road, but not trying to chase them. We gradually went nearer. Eventually, we were walking on the path beside the road. Meg was great, for about 2 minutes, then decided the cars were too much, and started to lurch towards them. We went back home.
The following day, we repeated the exercise, and Meg was much better. She walked holding a tug-toy (which is my toy, she is never allowed to play with it by herself—a tip from my father-in-law). She held the toy the entire way, making sure I couldn’t take it from her—which is still bad behaviour, but much less bad than chasing cars, and I am all for compromise. We walked about 400 metres , turned round, walked back to the station. A train of school kids had arrived, so the walk back involved walking past school bags, and lots of legs, and even boys bouncing a football. Meg was great (if you don’t include the fact that she thought she had stolen my toy and was concentrating on not giving it back!) This will now be a daily activity, and gradually, as the traffic stops being an issue, I will be more fussy about who carries the toy.
As Meg has grown, she has become too heavy for me to keep lifting in and out of the car, but big dogs need protecting when they are young, as too much stress on their joints can result in arthritis when they are old. I therefore bought a ramp. It arrived, and I attached it to the boot, and directed Meg to walk up it. She looked at me like I was stupid, and sat down. I tried tempting her with food, so she barked at me. Carried the ramp into the house and leant it against a stair, so the incline was very shallow. Meg walked up it, ate the treat, walked down it. I made it steeper, and she walked up it. I repeated the exercise, until it was the same incline as the car boot. Then I took it outside, and attached it to the car. Meg looked at me as if I thought she was daft, and sat down. But then, gradually, I persuaded her up the ramp, gave her a treat, down the ramp. We did this a few times until she was walking up and down confidently. I love this about Meg—if I find the right way to teach her, she is incredibly quick to learn.
Hope you stay safe on the roads this week. Thanks for reading. Take care. Love, Anne x
We took Meg to Camber Sands. She was sick in the car (she is always sick in the car). It was really windy, and walking to the beach involved lots of sand being blown into eyes, which she wasn’t keen on. When we finally made it to the beach, she just stopped—all four paws firmly planted—and stared at everything.
We started to walk, and she was very good—interested in everything but not frightened, even when other dogs approached her wanting to play. We kept her on the lead, because if she decided to run off we would never catch her, and I don’t trust her with other animals.
She hates having wet feet, and tried to go backwards when we walked on the wet sand! Totally unimpressed by the sea, much too wet.
We only walked for about 30 minutes (I am still protecting her joints) but she was exhausted afterwards. It’s the first time I have seen her properly tired. She slept all the way home.
We also left her for a night. My daughter and son-in-law kindly agreed to have her, so we took Meg and her playpen, toys and food to Coulsdon. She was completely unfussed by being left. Daughter said she was mostly very good, though she did check with Daughter whenever son-in-law told her something, to see whether she needed to obey or not! They found a water-squirter was a good deterrent for going on the sofa, so I will copy that.
The worst thing about Meg is her insistence on chasing cars. It’s very dangerous as she gets stronger, because she fixates on them, and then lurches with all her strength. She is also terrible on the lead, and pulls very hard. It’s a lot like being behind a dog-sleigh, but without the sleigh. Daughter said they tried all sorts of treats, but nothing really distracted her from the cars, even though they were further away than when she encounters them in the lane. It’s a problem we need to fix.
17 Weeks
Meg is mostly very good now, though her energy exhausts me. She has also become very disobedient about coming when called, but as she’s bigger, I don’t worry about leaving her in the garden for a little while, so I just shut her out (which she hates, and tries to squeeze through the cat flap!)
I bought a ‘halti’ lead. It has a nose muzzle-thing, and the lead attaches to this, so if she pulls it turns her head. We practiced wearing it for short periods in the house, and then used it to walk on the field. Meg hates it, and tries to remove it, but it stops her pulling and lurching at cars. I am hoping it will break the cycle of strong pulling, so we can stop using it after a while. I am also taking her into the garden regularly, with treats and no distractions, to practice walking to heel. She is good until she loses concentration (about 4 minutes). After that, it’s not worth trying.
Not keenLearning to cope
She has got very tall and thin. I am increasing her food, and adding meat to the kibble. I assume it’s just a lanky growing phase. She moved out of her little crate for sleeping this week, as we decided it’s now too small. She mainly seems to sleep on her back, with all four legs stretched out. She snores like a trooper! Not very elegant (nor is it very scary-police-dog!) She still sleeps on folded towels. At some point I will buy her a bed, but she would eat it currently. I also cannot leave her with a bowl of water, because after drinking she flings it round the room. I have to give her drinks, and then remove the bowl. She managed to get her lead, which was a mistake…
Not so useful.
The breeder puts regular videos on Facebook of her training her own puppies. I try to copy some of the exercises with Meg. She’s good unless there’s a distraction. What I really need to find is a competition for grabbing a sock out of the tumble-dryer and racing up the garden with it—we would win that for certain! I do feel that she’s trying to fit in though. When we load the dishwasher, she collects her chew and dumps it in, like she’s trying to help, which is very sweet. She’s also a happy little thing, and loves to join in when I dance to the radio, running circles round me with her toy. She’s very friendly when we meet people, and greets all the gardeners (at face-height) with wagging tail and licks—which is not exactly ‘calm’ but at least she’s confident and friendly. Hopefully this will last—but in a calmer manner.
Hope you are making progress with your latest project. I must say, writing my dissertation is MUCH easier than puppy training. Thanks for reading. Take care. Love, Anne x
Learning to cope with a new puppy takes many forms…
Still have a muddle of feelings about Meg—mainly that she has made life so much more complicated, and she doesn’t even seem to like me! Occasionally she will crawl onto my lap when I’m sitting on the floor, or follow me when I am cooking, chewing her toys and watching me, and I feel genuine affection. But mostly, as she knocks something over, or destroys a seat cushion, or bites my clothes, I feel cross. I cannot trust her in the kitchen alone, so I either have to be in there, guarding everything, or she has to be in her large pen with her toys—which she is beginning to resent.
She is still terrible with the other animals, and chases them if she can (so she is mostly on the lead when they are out). The cats are getting used to her, and Milly will even follow us at a distance, because she knows she can outrun Meg.
She is super-fast at learning things (if I have the mental energy to teach her). For a treat she likes (mince) she will sit, wait, shake hands, fetch a ball and put it into my hand. She’s not too sure about walks, and tries to stop us leaving the driveway (she uses all four paws as a brake, and I end up dragging her). She usually looks quite happy when we get to the field, and walks relatively well, then tries to drag me all the way home. She absolutely hates being hosed afterwards (but she’s covered in mud, so it’s the only option).
I have been out a couple of evenings, and a friend has come and let her out. Meg has been fine with this—which is one good thing about a confident puppy. I think going into kennels wouldn’t phase her at all. Nothing seems to.
13 Weeks
Walking on the lead is still a nightmare, and hurts my shoulder. When there are two of us, the ‘pack-instinct’ kicks in, and she will walk with us, trying to keep up with the ‘leader’. But on her own it’s just hard work. She stops, leaps, grabs the lead or pulls as hard as she can. By the time we have walked a short loop, I am exhausted (and not particularly kind when I hose the mud off her, which she hates, but I am so angry by that time that I take a sadistic pleasure in giving her a thorough wash).
Cutting her nails is also not going well. All the books suggest playing with her feet, regularly touching her paws/nails and giving treats until it becomes ‘normal.’ This has never worked. Meg will offer me her paw when asked (in return for food) but she snatches it away in an instance. Trying to ‘play’ with her paws results in biting. I have therefore been quickly clipping a single nail after sneaking up on her when she’s sleeping, and then trying to remove clippers/fingers from her mouth. It has not felt like victory. Therefore this week, we resorted to the two-man method. Husband pinned her down, and while she was immobile, I trimmed her nails. She started to make all sorts of fuss, so we started to sing, very loudly, the rousing hymn: ‘And can it be, that I should gain…’ This always worked with screaming babies, they were shocked into silence. Seems it also works with angry puppies! The bad quality of our singing, plus the volume, made her completely freeze. I need to share this tip with the people who write the dog obedience books—nothing else seems to work.
14 Weeks
Jay came home this week, and said Meg is lots calmer than when he last saw her. This gives me hope. Though I seriously consider rehoming her almost every day. She is still too much for me.
I have taken her into town a couple of times. I park in Waitrose, and we walk from the car to the front of the shop, then to the chip shop in the High Street, and back to the car. It takes about 30 minutes. Most puppies would be scared of the cars, the sliding doors of the shop, the trolleys, the number of people. Not Meg. She tries to attack everything, bouncing with all four feet. She is delighted if someone greets her, and lurches madly, trying to chase the cars, and the people, and the trolleys. I tried taking various treats, and bribing her to concentrate on me. No chance. She is completely distracted and just wants to chase everything. I will keep trying. Maybe it will become boring eventually, and she will listen to me.
The only thing I have ever known her to be wary of is a lorry, which stopped to ask directions. As the massive wheels stopped next to us, she moved back, and when it left, she didn’t try to chase it. But that’s it—giant lorries but nothing else. She would have been a brilliant army dog.
15 Weeks
Meg has been great this week, and I now feel thoroughly bonded (no more thoughts of rehoming). It has been a difficult road, but we have learnt each other sufficiently that life has settled into a mutual understanding. The puppy understands that evenings here are boring. Absolutely nothing happens after 6pm, so there’s no point in trying to make things exciting, may as well settle into crate for the evening with a chew to gnaw. In return, I try to exercise her brain and body several times during the day.
She is getting better with the animals—and I no longer try to clean them out while she is with me (way too stressful). Each morning, Milly (the cat) comes in, jumps onto the work surface, and I feed her and Meg something tasty (a tin of tuna if I don’t have anything better). Meg has learnt that if she jumps up, the cat slaps her face. She has also learnt—because they are fed together, and the cat always comes first—that the cat belongs here, and therefore whilst bouncing perhaps cannot be helped, biting is clearly wrong. In return, the cat sometimes follows us round the garden, and although she has been bounced a few times, she stays near enough to be part of life. A good start.
The cockerel has also asserted himself, and not been killed, and both are now relatively wary of each other, but neither show aggression—which is as much as I can hope for at this stage. We are getting there.
Over Christmas, Meg had lots of interaction with the family. She’s very friendly, and loves everyone, but also showed some obedience when people were firm with her. Whilst her behaviour is still ‘naughty’ she does now obey commands, and we are able to tell her things rather than physically force her off chairs, into her crate, etc. As I feed her in the crate, and all her toys are in there, she sees it as a nice place to be rather than a punishment, which is good.
Meg was at her best on the 28th December. We had the whole extended family here for games and supper. Meg stayed in her big crate, which is in the kitchen, right next to where highly competitive family members were pretty much shouting at each other and squealing and generally being very noisy. Meg was completely comfortable, watching with interest, and showing no nerves at all. I felt very pleased with her.
We have just returned from a walk with Bridie (older dog in the family). After an initial silly barking fit and showing of teeth, Meg realised that Bridie was completely unimpressed, and then walked next to her, round the park, meeting a few other dogs on the way. Whilst she pulled on the lead the whole time, she did very well with other dogs, and was much better with passing cars, and definitely seemed to be watching Bridie and learning from her. Another success.
Hope you have some success too this week. Thanks for reading. Take care. Love, Anne x
Anne E Thompson 