Author: anneethompson

London : Sayings and Stories

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A friend called and asked if I’d like to join her on a guided walking tour of London. It was organised by Sevenoaks School, so we were slightly bemused as we’ve had no links with the school since our sons left nearly 5 years ago. However, we haven’t seen each other for ages and it sounded quite fun, so we signed up.

We met near Tower Bridge. Our guide was a nice man, short, carrying a briefcase and umbrella (he looked like the accountant in The Untouchables, but I didn’t mention it.) I was worried he might stick the umbrella into the air for us all to follow – at which point I would’ve left – but it stayed safely in his bag. He was actually very interesting, he remembered a huge number of facts, and told little stories as we walked around. The walk took 2 hours, mainly because we walked very slowly. I thought I’d tell you some of his stories, about the origins of sayings. They might, or might not, be true, but they were interesting.

Near the Tower of London, is the spot where they executed people who were not considered royal enough to be killed within the walls. There were a few plaques, one of which commemorated the husband of Lady Jane Grey (but I’ve forgotten his name. I would not make a good guide!) Lady Jane Grey was queen, after Henry VIII, for 9 days. After this, Mary (Henry’s daughter) rode into London and had Jane locked up in the tower. Hence the saying, “a nine day wonder”.

We also passed the pub, ‘The Hung, Drawn and Quartered’. It’s possible the owners have very bad grammar (paintings are hung, people are hanged). However, on the side is a plaque with a quote from Samuel Pepys, which includes the same words. So perhaps it was Pepys who had bad grammar and the publican was being ironic.

We passed Bakers Hall, owned by the guild of bakers. When they used fire-heated bread ovens, they got it to temperature, then shoved a piece of elm across the opening, to keep the heat in. This was the “stop gap”. The underside of the loaf would be covered in ash, so that was sold cheaply to the poor. Only the rich could afford “the upper crust”.

We went to a small lane, called Lovats Lane (used to be called Lovers Lane). It was very narrow, and led away from Eastcheap (which is where the meat and fish were sold). ‘Cheap’ was the word for ‘exchange’, or a market. In the past, horse-drawn wagons would have used the lane, going from the river to the market. It would be difficult to pass as it was so narrow, and often the wheels would touch and get stuck. Sometimes though, they touched but managed to keep going, hence the saying, “touch and go”.

We walked down to the river, just below Monument (great tall monument which my son has walked past many times without ever noticing! It’s a monument to the great fire of London). Next to St Magnus the Martyr church, you can see the remains of previous London Bridges. There is a lump of wood which was from the original Roman London Bridge. There is the stone that replaced the wooden bridge, which was destroyed in 1014 when London was attacked, and gave rise to the song, “London Bridge is Falling Down”. There is also the stone from the bridge that was replaced in the 70s because it was too narrow. Apparently we sold it to a chap from Arizona who bought the wrong bridge, as he thought he was buying Tower Bridge. Easy mistake. I was quite surprised the current bridge has only been there since the 1970s, I had assumed it was older.

We walked towards St Paul’s Cathedral, passing other guildhalls on the way. All the guilds used to take part in the Lord Mayor’s Show each year. It was held on the Thames, hence each guild entered a “float”. Two of the guilds constantly argued about their position in the procession, so it was decided they would alternate each year between the places six and seven. Hence the saying, “at sixes and sevens”.

We came to Cheapside, which was where in the past you could buy a piglet. So it didn’t escape, it would be sold, wriggling, in a tied sack. Sometimes the dishonest farmer would substitute the pig, and you’d get home, open the sack, and find not a piglet but a cat. If you checked when at the market and opened the sack in the market, you would “let the cat out of the bag”.
During the reformation, Westminster Abbey, which was catholic, was emptied of everything valuable. At the time it was called St Peter’s. The poor people didn’t gain from this though, as all the icons were carried to the anglican church, which happened to be St Paul’s. Hence, they “robbed Peter to pay Paul”.

We went behind The Old Bailey, and peered through some gates to where you can see a wall, which is all that remains of Newgate Prison. Prisoners to be executed would have a last confession to a priest (called shrift), but as they were deemed to be going to Hell anyway, the priest wouldn’t waste too much time on them, so they would receive “short shrift”. They could then have one last drink in the pub on the way to the gallows – hence “one for the road”. The cart that carried them was called a lurch, hence you could be “left in the lurch”. Anyone who didn’t go into the pub to drink was left “on the wagon”.

There was one guy (name escapes me, I’ll call him James) who was stuck for a few years in the debtors prison. He got to know many of London’s criminals. When he was released, a new law was passed, increasing the penalty for buying stolen goods. This meant few people wanted to buy them, and the price went down. James figured that the people most likely to want to buy the stolen goods, were the people who had had them stolen. He therefore set up a system whereby, if you were robbed, you could go to James with a list of stolen goods and he would find them and sell them back to you. When the items were reunited with the owner, James put a cross next to the robber’s name. Sometimes James discovered a robber hadn’t been honest with him, and so instead of buying the goods and selling them back to the original owner, James would tell the police where to find the robber. When that happened, he put two crosses next to the robber’s name. Hence, the robber was “double crossed”. Eventually, James himself was caught and hanged. (But not hung, because he wasn’t a painting…..)

xxxxxx

Thank you for reading.

xxxxxxx

If you enjoyed this, you will love my new book: The Sarcastic Mother’s Holiday Diary.
I have always written a diary on holiday, so last Christmas, I decided to find all my old diaries and blogs, and make a book for my children. However, several other people also asked for a copy, so I have written a public version – it’s available on Amazon and has been described as “The Durrells meet Bill Bryson”!

Why not buy a copy today? I think it will make you laugh.

The US link is here:

The India link is here:

The UK link is here:

xxx

Don’t tell anyone, but….

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I found a lump. I don’t usually discuss personal things on my blog, I like to keep them private. But sometimes it might be helpful for people to hear, so I occasionally force myself to.

Anyway, I don’t usually check for odd lumps and bumps – do you? I know that I should, especially as there is so much family history of cancer. Though it seems to me, that nowadays, everyone has a family history of cancer. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t lost a parent or aunt or cousin. To be honest, I think it’s because I know cancer is in the family, that I don’t like checking. I kind of don’t want to know. I don’t want to have to deal with it, to think about it, to have all the hassle related to any kind of medical problem.

It’s not that I’m worried about dying. When I was diagnosed with a brain tumour, the reality of my body having a ‘use-by’ date was rather hammered home. I had to face that I very well might die soon. It wasn’t scary, because I know what I believe about God, and I trusted him to take care of the whole afterwards side of things. But I didn’t want to die. I still don’t. Partly because I don’t want to miss things – I want to see my children settled, any grandchildren that come along, spend time as a grumpy old woman with my grumpy old husband. Plus there’s lots of things I still want to do. So death, although not scary, is unwelcome.

No, it’s not that I might die, it’s the medical intervention that worries me. I don’t want to be ill. All the hassle of hospitals, and having no energy, and inconveniencing other people. I just don’t want it. I’ve been ill, had my five year headache, recovered from a craniotomy, done. I don’t want something else. Surely it should be someone else’s turn? So, I don’t check very often, but occasionally I do, and this time I found something. Big bummer.

I went to the doctor. Never easy, but they gave me an appointment and I saw a very efficient woman, who said I needed to be referred to the hospital. Disappointing – I was hoping she’d tell me it was nothing and to go home and not be silly.

The hospital appointment came within a couple of weeks, and off I went with some books to read and snacks. Hospitals are never quick. I didn’t tell anyone, because I found with the brain tumour that people don’t always react how you want. They either try to reassure you, and tell you not to worry – which they cannot possibly know, and you are worried, so that doesn’t help. Or, they go into panic mode and you end up reassuring them instead! So I mentioned it to Husband, but then went off on my own.

It was fine. The staff were very professional. I had to wait about three years in various waiting rooms, and I was pretty sure one patient had died a few weeks ago and hadn’t been spotted yet, but when you actually were with the doctors, they were very good. They managed to be sensitive and business-like, and I trusted them. People moan about the NHS in the UK, but I wouldn’t want to be ill anywhere else. We have good doctors and nurses and support staff.

People in hospital are different, have you noticed that? Outside, they might be highly educated, or very fashionable, or super-rich. But in hospital, waiting to find out whether or not you have cancer, everyone is the same. Just people. All tired of waiting. All slightly tense. All real. There’s not much pretence in a hospital, which I kind of like.

My lump turned out to be nothing. It can safely be ignored. They were nice about it though, said I did the right thing to have it checked – because if it had been something nasty, they can often deal with it before it does any harm. Which is why I’m writing this. Old or young, male or female, when did you last do the ‘odd lump’ check? Perhaps you should. I’m not brave, and I hate doing things like that, but if I managed it, so can you.

•••
Thanks for reading.

If you want to know more about what I believe, take a look at :
https://anneethompson.com/how-to/378-2/

On a completely different note…..I was emailed by Samantha Day from Meridian FM and asked if I would speak on the radio about psychopaths, and JOANNA, and my book launch. Wow! Very scary, very exciting. I am going on Wednesday 15th at 11 o’clock. I’m assuming it’s a live broadcast, as her show is 11 til 1, but it might not be. I will let you know how I get on.

Animals and Neighbours

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The cockerels survived! If you read an earlier post, you’ll know that the DEFRA quarantine (for bird flu) lasted until the end of February. I was worried that when I released the birds into the garden, the cockerels would think it was new territory (having bird brains, and all that) and would fight. Cockerels fight to the death, even if you try to separate them, so I was worried. I couldn’t find anything helpful online – I’m not sure many ‘hobby’ farmers keep cockerels. I decided I would start to let the birds out just as it was getting dark. They are rigid about their routines, and as soon as it gets dark, they all roost on their perch, all in a set order. I thought that maybe, if it was beginning to get dark, even if they started to fight, the urge to roost would be greater, so they’d stop attacking each other before one was dead.

Well, it worked fine. I opened the cage door, and they all rushed out. No fighting. Excellent. The four new ones have never left the cage before, so they were very interested by it all, the older ones went straight onto the compost heap for a good dig.

One of the new ones is tiny, even smaller than her mother (I bought “large chicken eggs” on Ebay, but one- the mother of the latest clutch – is a bantam. That’s Ebay for you!) She was so excited she started to fly around and sit in the trees, which was pretty cool. I was slightly worried the cats might think she was small enough to catch, as she’s smaller than a rat and they do a good job at keeping them under control. When I released them, the dog and all four outside cats arrived to watch. The cats like living outside, but they’re both nosey and keen for snuggles, so they follow us around when we’re in the garden. I watched them carefully, but whenever they were approached by a hen, even a small one, they backed away quickly. They clearly associate chickens with being pecked rather than with sport/food. Which is good. Always a good idea to introduce very young predators to adult birds – they learn to not attack. My cats had some sharp pecks when they were kittens, and obviously remember.

As it grew darker, the three old birds went straight back into the cage to roost. The younger birds partied for a bit longer; which worried the dog, who was keen to round them up, but I wanted to wait and see what happened, so made her sit beside me. She sat there, nudging me with her nose and whimpering – disagreed with my decision. It was fine, they all went to bed before it was properly dark. That’s the only nice thing about short winter days I think, the chickens go to bed early. When the clocks move forward, I will have to wait until later before I can shut the door, which makes going out in the evening difficult.

The ducks are all laying. There are little nests of eggs all around the pond. I keep finding them, and don’t know how old they are, so am leaving them (would be embarrassing to give someone an old egg to eat). Not sure if they’ll sit, it’s still quite early, but sometimes they do if the weather’s warm. I have enough ducks, so if they do, when the ducklings are full grown I’ll give them away. They’re not far removed from mallards, so can fly and would cope fine on a wild pond. I do hope bird flu doesn’t spread to this area. I like my birds.

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The cats are fat. I think they put on extra fat during the winter months, plus their fur is really thick. They are wonderful to cuddle. Sometimes I try to bring one inside, but they’re very unsettled and want to get back in the garden as soon as they can. They all come running when I whistle, so if I have any meat scraps, I’ll call them to the door.

We have sheep in the field next to the house. They’re fat too, so I’m hoping we might have lambs soon. I don’t like walking through the field when there’re mothers and young – sometimes they become aggressive – so we’re having to find new walks. The dog likes this, but I don’t. I tend to walk each day when I need a break from writing, and I like to walk the same way, so I don’t have to concentrate and can loose myself in the story while I walk. Then when we get home, I’m usually ready to write the next part of the story.

At the moment while I walk, I’m also delivering invites to the book launch on 29th. My neighbours all live several fields away, so I rarely see them. There is one house, which has tall fences and gates, down a private track. It has no name, no letterbox. No one (that I have asked) knows who lives there, but it used to be a pop star. If you look on Google maps, there is a big house and a few small cottages. Who lives there? Could be someone famous. Or a Mafia don. Or someone royal. Very interesting. Very occasionally, the gates are left open. If I’m walking past, I shall sneak in with an invitation – you never know, they might like to come to a book launch. If I discover who lives there, I’ll let you know.

xxx

Thank you for reading.

xxx

 

Book Promo for JOANNA – never easy…..

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Hello, and how was your week? Mine has been frustratingly slow – some weeks just go like that don’t they. I have however, made a little progress on the book promoting front.

Firstly, I have, I think, managed to add paragraphs to my description on Amazon. On Facebook, I belong to a couple of writer’s groups. One is the Association of Christian Writers (which I had to pay to join) and one is the SciFi Roundtable (which was free). Now, the Scifi one is brilliant. They are a group of authors who all try to help each other, promote each other’s books, offer feedback on writing, etc. They are also very funny, so I enjoy the general banter and jokes, even if I don’t always join in (I think most of them are rather more intelligent than me!) Anyway, I asked them about the whole paragraph on Amazon thing, and they told me to add <p> at the start of a paragraph, and <p/> at the end. It worked. At least, it did for Hidden Faces. I now need to try it for the JOANNA description.

Second bit of news is I finally have a trading agreement set up between Gardners and Waterstones. This has taken a very long time! I now need to submit a copy of JOANNA to Waterstones, and hope they like it enough to stock it in their shops (it is already available on their website). Of course, they do not actually tell you where to send a copy, you have to send a form asking for the address. Which all takes time. Luckily, books don’t have a ‘sell-by’ date.

I was also interviewed by a local journalist. This was less scary than last time (everything is less scary than last time). We met in a cafe, full of men who either looked like builders having a late breakfast, or retired gentlemen on their own having coffee. I was the only female in the cafe. We talked about JOANNA, and I launched into all the amazingly interesting facts I have discovered about psychopaths. Now, my family have begun to be less than enthusiastic about psychopaths, but that cafe full of blokes were captivated! I became aware that all the other tables were silent and listening to our conversation. Then they started to join in – leaning across to ask if I thought President Trump was a psychopath! It was very funny. Hopefully, it might also sell a few books when it appears in shops in April.

The journalist took a photo (always embarrassing) and said he would write an article to coincide with the book launch on 29th March. I do hope the article is about JOANNA, and not about me – I’m quite a private person really. He has since emailed me. He is sometimes invited to speak on Meridian FM and BBC Radio Surrey, and has suggested to them that I could go and talk about psychopaths. This would be both brilliant and extremely scary. Good for the book promo though, so I hope something happens. I will let you know.

xxx

Since writing this, another journalist contacted me, asking for an interview. This one wanted a photograph of me “at my desk”. Now, when you have a family, “your desk” tends to be any available space that’s not too noisy. At present, it is my dressing table, in my bedroom. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to take a stranger into my bedroom (especially as I wasn’t sure when they emailed if they were male or female – a bloke might’ve got the wrong idea when I started to lead him upstairs!) So, I decided to ‘create’ a desk downstairs, in the corner of the kitchen. I do sometimes work there, but usually surrounded by lost socks and piles of laundry and odd items the dog has brought me. So I did bit of a tidy up. I also realised just how many dead plants I own. Seriously, every window sill in the house had a dead plant on it! They had to go. As did the muddy paw prints on the floor and the pillow worth of dog hairs. By the time she arrived, I had done a major Spring Clean and was exhausted. Next time, I shall do what J K Rowling did, and pretend I wrote my books sitting in cafes.

I am hoping the interview part went well. She seemed very interested, anyway – and told me about a few people she knows, asking if I thought they were psychopaths.

I have also booked a table at the Easter Market in town. This will be a good place to sell signed copies of JOANNA in April. It is all beginning to fall into place.

To preorder JOANNA, please follow the link:

Joanna

xxx

Swigging Wine in the Supermarket Carpark….

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When you have a family, even when in theory they have grown up and moved away, there are always unexpected laughs and worries.

One big worry for me recently has been one ‘child’s’ health. I was more worried than him I think, and had a few sleepless nights, before his endoscopy showed he didn’t have cancer or Crohn’s disease. I knew in my head that the odds were good, but mummies worry. It’s what we do. He was very relaxed about the whole thing, was sure they’d find nothing major wrong (which was correct) and even, during the procedure, made them laugh by asking if they could “keep a look out for my car keys while you’re there, because I’ve lost those somewhere.”

The hospital sent him home with a written report, which even included photographs. Why would anyone want photos of their insides? Son assured me it was the male equivalent of baby scan printouts. He said he was trying to decide whether to put them on Facebook to show all his friends, or cut them out to put in a card for his girlfriend. I do hope he was joking.

This worry did not however, lead to swigging wine in the supermarket carpark – whatever you might hear to the contrary. That was something else. We are preparing for the launch of JOANNA, and need some decent wine that doesn’t cost a fortune. So we bought a couple of bottles which were on ‘special offer’ and tasted them with some friends, to check they were okay. They were, so the following day we went back to the supermarket to buy enough for the launch. Except they had sold out. Hence we realised that wine on ‘special offer’ sells out quickly, so we needed to buy it when we saw it. But I was keen to taste it first (so we didn’t serve awful wine to our guests). So, we bought a bottle of each, took them into the carpark, and had a quick taste…It was embarrassing. I don’t really have a self-image of me and my husband swigging wine from bottles in supermarket carparks. But we were. And a few people noticed (but didn’t comment, which made it worse). Son found it hilarious.

One of the nice things about the health scare, was it meant we had Colon-Boy at home for the week. (If you read that name, it means he hasn’t yet! Sometimes I write things which I know my family will tell me to remove when they read it. When you get to my age, you get your laughs where you can, and I see it as ‘pay-back’ for all those two year old tantrums in supermarkets I had to endure when I was young and stressed….) Having a son at home does entail a certain amount of male competitiveness, especially with food. I will ask, “How many cheese and leek pastries will you eat?” First male will ask for two (even though he never eats more than one), second male will then ask for three. I cook them, even though I know both males will be trying to smuggle pastry into the bin without me seeing. Sometimes I pretend I don’t have enough, just to save them. Other times I cook what was requested and then stay at the table while they try to force themselves to finish. Like I said, it’s kind of payback. (If you have young children, hold on to these thoughts – your time will come…..)

The chickens are still shut inside. They’re very unhappy, and keen for the bird flu epidemic to finish (not that it is anywhere near our county), so they can be released back into the garden. I am also unhappy, as I have to clean them out at least once a day. I’m also slightly worried what will happen when I do release them. Cockerels have a tendency to fight over new territory, and when I release them, they will have forgotten they’ve already been in the garden, decide it’s new territory and fight over who is boss. Cockerels will fight to the death. So I’m not really sure how to release them safely. I currently have three cockerels – two are full grown, one is the November hatchling. I may not have three next time I write…..Will do some internet research and try to find a way to release them without starting a war.

The ducks are less unhappy. They are classed as ‘released birds’ (like game birds which have been released) so although I’m feeding them under cover, they’re still on the pond. Which is fenced. Except I keep finding them on the lawn, because they’re very good at escaping. When they see me and Kia, they know they’ve been naughty, so they instantly start to run (even though they can all fly) round to the gate, and back onto the pond. They’re like naughty children!

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If you would like be one of the first to buy a copy of JOANNA (and drink some ‘not too bad’ wine) then perhaps you would like to come to the book launch. It will be on 29th March, in Kent, UK. If you’d like an invite, fill out the contact form below:

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Thank you for your response. ✨

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Thank you for reading.

You can’t always trust what you read…….which is scary.

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Several months ago, a friend recommended a book: Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes by Kenneth Bailey. It sounded interesting, so I bought it, read it, loved it (many thanks Rev Hatfield). I have since devoured all Kenneth E Bailey’s other books, and was disappointed to learn he has died recently, so won’t be writing any more.

The books are interesting because Mr Bailey is a clever man. He has a knowledge of both middle Eastern culture, and also the languages the Bible was written in. He takes a passage, one that anyone who reads the Bible knows well, and puts in into context. He shows how people of Bible times would have responded to the things said and done, what the language is likely to mean, why things have been translated as they have.

So, take for example, the story of the Samaritan woman at the well, who Jesus asks for a drink. I already knew that Jews and Samaritans were enemies, and that a man speaking to an unknown woman was unusual, but the book explains so much more. It points out the flirtatious nature of the woman’s initial words to Jesus, how she was assuming he wanted something more than water! It also shows how she tried to misdirect the conversation, to move it away from a personal discussion about her own faith. All very interesting.

My Bailey also spends a lot of time showing how words have been translated. He very often challenges why particular words have been used in the English translation, why passages have been broken up into certain chapters. He points out that sometimes whole meanings have changed because the end of one chapter has been placed at the beginning of the next one, which makes the reader assume it is part of something else. I’m not sure if I’m explaining this properly – but unless I copy vast chunks of his text (which will make this very long) I need to just give you an overview. Really, you need to read some of his books for yourself.

Now, the thing that has caused me a problem, is when Kenneth Bailey looks at particular translations. Why Luke would have used a certain word, and whether the translation is reliable. It is fascinating, especially if you speak another language, so have a feel for how direct translations are rarely possible between languages with different roots. (If you are someone who believes you can put a phrase into the Biblical language equivalent of ‘Google Translate’ and come up with a phrase you can trust, this article is not aimed at you!) However, it has left me with a slight insecurity. The whole church practice of taking a text – one verse that explains an ethos – seems very flawed when you realise how unreliable our translations are. How much can we trust what we read in the Bible?

There is great danger in thinking along these lines. Although the Bible never claims to be infallible – Christians do NOT claim that it was dictated word for word (which some other religions claim about their holy books) – it is what we rely on to learn about God. The Bible claims to be the word of God, to point the way to God, to explain something of the character of God. It should not therefore be dismissed as unreliable. Except, our translations ARE unreliable. As you read what Bailey writes, you realise that to take individual verses literally is actually a bit dodgy. It can give a very skewed idea about what Jesus taught, about how we should view God, about how the church should be functioning.

What then is the solution? I do believe the Bible is an important way that God teaches us. I do believe we can learn the character of God within the pages of the Bible, that it guides and shapes us. I am just not sure any more that we should take snippets and be confident that “This says such and such, therefore, we must behave in this way.” I’m sure there are people who will label me as ‘liberal’, who will dismiss what I am saying as ‘diluted Christianity’. But actually, I am simply one person who is trying to discover who God is. I now believe, that to take individual verses as ‘proof’ of something is dangerous. We might be heading off in the wrong direction. I believe that the only reliable way to use the Bible is to read LOTS of it. To look at individual passages in the light of all the others. That the whole Bible will give us a taste of the essence of God, and that will lead us into the right choices. But to base any action on a single verse is foolish. We should not be ignoring certain parts of the Bible, even the difficult boring bits, they were put there for a reason. They all work together to give us an overview, an understanding, of God.

Take for example the story of Jesus allowing the children to approach him, when he took them onto his knee and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”
I have heard many sermons use this as a text. We are urged to come to God trustingly, openly, simply. Which might be right. But do read what else has been written guys, don’t just take that snippet. Children have lots of attributes: They are very selfish. They don’t plan ahead (“I need the toilet NOW”). They will eat sweets until they are sick. They believe in everything that looks true, including monsters and talking teddies. Are we meant to approach God like this? With no forward planning? No questioning? No regard for others beyond our own immediate comfort? I don’t think so. To know what was meant, you need an understanding of the whole.

Or look at the passage where women are told to “not speak” during church services because it is “shameful”. Yet according to scholars, “speak” is better translated as “chatter” and the “shame” is like, “a shame if I don’t do that”, a sort of “not quite proper” rather than a strong condemnation. Yet many English churches have used this passage to stop women preaching, ignoring the places where Paul refers to women prophets and female leaders in the early church.

When I discussed this at home, it was pointed out that some people like to keep things simple. They like to take things at face value, they would feel I was over complicating things. The trouble is, it is because people have taken things at face value, have used snippets of the Bible to set their direction, that Christians have done some terrible things. Wars, murder, oppression, all done with the backing of a few verses from the Bible, all justified as “God’s Will” because of things written in the Bible. If we study the whole Bible, learn the character of God, and use that as our guide, then I feel this is much more reliable. We are working with a translation people, written thousands of years ago and transcribed millions of times. YES it points the way to God. NO, each and every word cannot and should not, be relied upon. The whole “God won’t let us misinterpret his will” argument is rubbish too – try living in Henry VIII times. Which is a bit scary because it means that to understand God requires effort. To live as God intends us to live, whatever our age, means we have to work hard. We cannot simply clutch at a few random verses and announce we’ve “got it”.

Knowing God takes time. Perhaps a whole life time. Perhaps that is the point.

xxx

Thank you for reading.

anneethompson.com

xxx

Love

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by Anne E Thompson

No more,
Do I carve big hearts in the sand.
Neither do I scribble our names entwined.
Nor do I keep your photo’ under my pillow.
Nor chant your name like a rhyme in my head.
I do not whisper about you with friends,
Nor blush when I hear your voice.
I do not loiter in the places you may pass,
Nor practice smiles for you before a mirror.

Yet still,
My heart thrills at the sound of your laughter,
And I watch the clock when your arrival is near.
I am content when I manage to please you,
And I watch your face when you drive or read.
I learn every wrinkle that creases your smile,
And I bend to your moods as they change.
For though time may mellow and age us,
My love for you remains
The same.

(Reposted for Valentine’s Day)

 

 

anneethompson.com

xxx

Publishing Update

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Hello, here’s what has been happening in the world of books. Hopefully these snippets of information will be useful/interesting. This whole writing/publishing venture is like a journey across a new country! There is lots to discover.

Hidden Faces is still selling, though as expected, sales have slowed down. I have sold about 60% of the books now (in 6 months, so I am meeting my sales targets). Most sales have been either to friends buying them from Amazon, or by direct sales – me attending fairs and bookclubs and speaking to various groups. Talking to other new authors, this seems to be normal.

Although I sell through Amazon, they do take nearly all of the profit (which means if I am to break even, I must sell every last copy). Shops that buy through a wholesaler (Waterstones and Foyles) take even more. I therefore decided I would sell my books through my own website. I can absorb the cost of UK posting (as it roughly equates what Amazon’s cut is) and I can also now sell internationally.

Initially, I was going to include my email details on my blog, so people could email their address and I could reply with payment details. However, a quick look online suggested this would mainly fill my inbox with spam, and I was better off making a ‘contact form’ on a post for people to use. I can’t process credit/debit cards, so I will have to ask people to pay by bank transfer or cheque. I also think most people might feel worried about never receiving the books, so I will ask for payment after they have received their copies. Of course, some dishonest people might then never pay. Or people might feel uncomfortable doing business with someone they don’t know. I will let you know what happens. If I have too many people who don’t pay, I will have to stop selling them privately. My new book, JOANNA, is due to be released at the end of March, so I have set up a preordering form too.

On the copyright page, it is usual to state that a copy of the book has been lodged with the British Library. I looked into this. Apparently, anything that is published in England, is legally supposed to be sent to the British Library. It’s an old law, and means that throughout history people can see the sorts of things that are published. It applies to all published material, whether or not it has an ISBN number (so I assume it also applies to things like school magazines – though I’m not entirely sure.) It certainly applies to books. If you publish a book, you are obliged to send the library a copy. The address is:

Legal Deposit Office
The British Library
Boston Spa
Wetherby
West Yorkshire
LS23 7BY

They are working on some kind of computer program, so in the near future we will be able to send a digital copy. But for now, you must send a paper copy.

There are a few other libraries (one is in Scotland, one is part of Cambridge University) which also have the legal right to request copies of your book, and you are obliged to send them one. However you only have to send them one if they actually request a copy.

As I said, JOANNA is now ready. We added the ISBN number and cover photo on the Nielsen’s website. This means it is listed as ‘published’ now, even though I don’t intend to sell any copies until the end of March. It also appears automatically on Amazon, Waterstones and Foyles online shops. (Note, this does not happen if you publish via Amazon Self-Publishing. This is because other shops view Amazon as a competitor, so will not stock their books. I’m not sure about other self-publishing services.) But I doubt anyone will order from there until I advertise it, (plus it costs them more) so I am hoping to preserve the launch date.

We now have to decide whether or not to also publish it as a Kindle book. Although I find it harder to sell Kindle copies ( you need to spend a lot of time networking on social media to build relationships with people who you don’t know, and I don’t really have time). However, some people tell me they only read ebooks. A few have still bought copies, but I realise they would prefer to read it on Kindle. But most Kindle books are cheaper, and I need to recoup my editing/typesetting/cover photograph costs. Will people be willing to pay as much for a Kindle copy as for a paperback, or will they see the Kindle book as ‘free’ to produce, and therefore think I am being greedy (rather than understanding that actually, it did cost me almost as much, as the printing costs are a tiny proportion of overall costs.) Difficult to know. Do let me know if you have an opinion, it will help me to decide.

Talking of Amazon, I was a bit shocked to see there are now three other sellers listed as selling Hidden Faces. They are selling secondhand copies for a cheaper price, which they keep reducing, so they appear before The Cobweb Press. This was unexpected. I have no idea if they actually have copies (they claim they are in stock). It’s a pain, because friends who look on Amazon for my book might not notice, and click the first seller that appears (rather than looking at ‘buyer options’ and looking for a ‘new’ copy). I don’t think there’s a way to avoid this, anyone can set up as a seller on Amazon. They cannot have new copies (because I own them all). I am suspicious they may have come from wholesalers. When you apply to a wholesaler, to ask them for a trading agreement (which you have to do if you want to sell through big shops) they ask you to send them a copy of the book. I guess they receive hundreds of books each week. They’re not going to bother to store those books, so I’m wondering if they sell them on to dealers. Or perhaps even have their own secondhand bookshop. I don’t know. I do wish though that I had written ‘Sample, not for resale’ somewhere in the book. It’s another reason for encouraging people to buy directly from me, as potentially I am losing money. Yet again, the big companies are making it almost impossible for the new indie publisher.

Of course, the main hindrance to managing to cover my costs is the number of people who lend books! You wouldn’t believe how many people bubble to me how much they have enjoyed Hidden Faces, they can’t wait to read the next one, it was really gripping and they have now lent it to their sister/neighbour/friend. Aaagh. I wish they had told other people about it and got me a few more sales, or written a review. But what can you do?

xxx

Thank you for reading. This is the link to preorder JOANNA:

Joanna

xxxxx

Picasso

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Letter to a Daughter

Dear Bee,

How are you? I hope work is fun but you’re getting home at a decent time. So awful at the moment with no sun and dingy mornings, I am ready for Spring to arrive.

I thought about you yesterday. Partly because I was in London (I waved from the train when we passed near your flat. Got strange looks from everyone else in the carriage and the man sitting next to me moved to another seat.) The other reason was because I was going to a Picasso exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery. It reminded me of when I used to take you there when you were little.

We had a lecture first. There was a lot of information (too much to remember actually, but it wasn’t too warm, so I stayed awake.) The lecturer was very good, she obviously knew her stuff, and explained it nice and simply. I think Picasso can be summed up in three words: seedy, witty, clever. But I’ll give you a quick over view of his life, it might be useful if ever you have to look knowledgeable.

img_5544He was born in Malaga (I’m sure you remember this, from our holiday there when you were about 4 years old…) His father was an artist (painted mainly birds it seems – pigeons and doves – very realistically.) Picasso started to copy his father, and when he was just twelve he finished one of his Dad’s paintings and was told it was better than his father’s. We saw a self-portrait he did when he was 13 (to be honest, he did a LOT of self-portraits. Says something about the man, I think.) He was at an art college in Barcelona, and his work was pretty good actually. None of the weird stuff that appeared later.

When he was older, he lived in Paris, and was there during the war (when he used lots of dingy colours and contorted faces to show the unrest/cruelty of the times.) He tried out lots of different styles, copying other artists. There was a bit of cubism (painting weird geometric shapes across the canvas), things like that. He doodled a lot, and drew caricatures of his friends and family. He always refused to take commissions for ‘classical’ portraits, when the model is flattered and surrounded by lots of emblems to show their status. He wanted to paint their personality, their mood. Many of his portraits, even though the subject sat for many hours when posing, are barely even recognisable as human. (I expect some of them were rather cross.) However, lots of his work was given to friends, rather than for exhibition. These pieces tended to be smaller, and more realistic. I preferred them.

I was interested by his realistic portraits. He was undoubtedly talented. I don’t really like his later stuff at all – all those eyes at weird angles and mouths and noses not in sync. However, one thing was interesting. We were shown a cubist painting (which just looked a mess of shapes with a random eye plonked to one side) and were told to ‘fuzz’ our eyes. I took off my glasses (fuzzes the whole world!) and the portrait looked completely different – you could see the man, how he was sitting, holding his hands in front of him. That was clever.

I also went to the gift shop, while waiting for the people who I was having lunch with (who were all rather more interested in the paintings than I was). I managed to avoid the £800 etchings and £52 tray, and even the rather natty ‘Picasso’ tee-shirt and beret set. I was tempted by one of the books though. It was a children’s book, and I wished you were young again, so I could buy it for you. It was written about a little boy’s experiences, when Picasso visited him in England. It showed a glimpse of the man, the child-like, creative, story-telling old man, who was happy to make curiosities for a little boy. There was also a painting of the boy’s mother – all skew-wiffy, with nose and mouth and eyes in different directions. But when you compared it to a photograph of the mother, and drew a line around her profile, what Picasso had painted has exactly the same edge. Which is also clever.

But you’re not little any more, so I didn’t buy you a copy. I bought some postcards instead.
Better go. Try and pop down when you get time. Eat properly.

Lots of Love,
Mum xx

img_5545 Portrait of his first wife, Olga (he had a lots of women, but only married two of them.) This one won a prize in the US (where Picasso never visited, but a friend entered it for him.) I like this painting (it’s less fuzzy in real life). She does look fed up in all of them though, so I think being painted must be boring. She was a Russian ballet dancer, so probs didn’t much like having to keep still for long periods of time.

Instow: The Beach for Dog Lovers…

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We came for a mini break to Instow, near Bideford in Devon. It is, by far, the most dog friendly place I have ever visited. In fact, if you don’t like dogs, you will find this a difficult village to visit. We loved it.

We hired a cottage (through English Country Cottages) right next to the beach. We looked out, across the estuary, watching as the tide filled the bay and floated the boats, then went out again, leaving them stranded. When the tide was out, the expanse of hard sand was immense. Every dog owner in the world seemed to arrive – I never saw less than 20 dogs on the beach at any time. There were the early morning walkers (who tended to have annoying yappy little dogs) and the midday walkers with children. There were even ‘after dark’ walkers (they tended to have the big dogs).

Husband had brought his gym kit and persuaded me to bring mine. So we could go for runs along the beach. He has recently watched ‘Chariots of Fire’. I fear his image of young men training for the Olympics by running through sea spray was not going to match the reality of a couple over 50 staggering along, trying to avoid tripping on the dog lead. We never went.

Across the bay was Appledore, a pretty Devon village with cottages scattered up a hill. It looked like Toytown from our cottage. Bizarrely, although we could walk to fairly near it when the tide was out, the river was always too big to cross, so without a boat it was unreachable (unless you drove for miles to a bridge, I suppose).

Even the pubs and restaurants were dog-friendly. They also all displayed 5* hygiene ratings (when you feed the public, you start to take note of these things and avoid places with a low star rating.) We ate in a variety of pubs, all within Instow, all very friendly and with excellent menus. If you go in the summer, you probably need to book. We could even take the dog into the cafe on the front, as long as she sat quietly under the table.

Instow has quite a big military presence (as I discovered, if you read yesterday’s blog!) This is due to the US and British military using the Devon coastline to practice for the D-Day landings.

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